Our World of Widewater Chairperson Jo Procter aka Swan Lady has been posting to our Facebook group what is becoming a very popular and entertaining serial!

16th January 2024 It’s an an icy start to the morning on the partially frozen Widewater Lagoon Riviera and at Hotel Swan breakfast has been served to the guests who have defrosted a pool to sit in! As the drinking fountain is frozen, several trips with bottles of water have been made! Special VIP guest, Hilda, has booked into the garden and has had breakfast served to her room. She has now put the do not disturb sign on her door whilst she has her morning nap in the sun! Please note, the elite and expensive Hotel Swan is fully booked but you could try the 5* Hotel Danny further round the bay!

17th January 2024 At Hotel Swan today. Hilda has enjoyed a full English breakfast this morning and is enjoying the view from her balcony. Another resident is also on his balcony and is hoping Hilda will notice him!

As we no longer have icy conditions today the Hotel trip around the islands will go ahead. We will be having a 4 hour stop to view the magnificent Mitigation Pipe and returning for Captain Beaky’s Gala dinner tonight. Please arrive early as Captain Beaky had eaten all the food before guests arrived last week!

18th January 2024 The sun rises on another glorious day at Hotel Swan. Hilda is presently sunbathing on her balcony and the guest next door is sunbathing on his – though he’s really keeping an eye on Hilda and trying to catch her attention.

He was hoping for a dance with Hilda at the Gala dinner last night but unfortunately the evening was ruined by Captain Beaky’s disgraceful behaviour at the dinner table. Staff are still clearing up the mess he made all over the tablecloth.

There are still a few places left on our popular Diving course in the hotel pool today run by our instructor Lil Grebe. Please book early.

19th January 2024 Captain Beaky wishes a very Good morning to all our residents at Hotel Swan. We hope you were not disturbed by the coach party of 26 Swans who arrived last night and stayed up late in the bar with Captain Beaky. We believe some fighting broke out between two Alpha males over Hilda but they were swiftly removed from the premises by our Bouncers – Sid and Johnny, the Punk ducks.

Hilda is presently taking coffee and trying to read the papers on her balcony despite the attempts by one of her suitors to impress her by diving into the pool.

Captain Beaky has issued a warning of icebergs today so unfortunately our trip to view the Widewater Bridge considered by some as the eighth wonder of the world, has been rescheduled for tomorrow.

Tonight the resident hotel band, The Mallards, will be performing their latest hit, I Quacked all Night, in the Lounge Bar so please join us for an evening of fun after dinner. Happy Friday Everyone!

20th January 2024 Another glorious sun rises on the Hotel Swan and what an exciting weekend we have in store for you! But first we would like to thank The Mallards resident band for a swinging night in the Bar though there is a little matter of outstanding payment to clear up and would Captain Beaky please settle his bill after inviting all guests to join him at the Bar then disappearing without payment.

We hope guests had a good nights sleep and weren’t too much disturbed by the raucous behaviour of the coach party Swans during the night. Please be warned, any further shenanigans will be dealt with by Sid and Johnny.

This morning, Hilda is enjoying breakfast with a friend on her balcony. Could this be a holiday romance? There seems to be quite a lot of head turning and canoodling going on between them!

Guests are reminded that we have a very special trip planned for today on the hotel luxury yacht – A round trip of the lagoon in search of Messy, the legendary Widewater Lagoon Monster believed to be lurking in the muddy depths! Lunch will be served on board but please guard your plates as Captain Beaky will be at the table.

We hope you enjoy the trip and we look forward to seeing you in the Bar tonight for an evening of Karaoke though Captain Beaky is banned until he has paid his bill.

21st January 2024 What a stormy night we had at Hotel Swan in more ways than one! Apart from the gales blowing all the sun beds into the pool, the wind seemed to whip up some very rowdy behaviour in the Bar. Captain Beaky suggested that the Swans should have a – Who’s got the longest neck competition – but unfortunately they started arguing over the winner and it ended up in a brawl and Sid and Johnny had to be called in. We think there may be a holiday romance blossoming at the hotel as Hilda was rather impressed by one participant who was showing off his exceptionally long and thick neck ( obviously he’s been going to the Hotel Gym! ) and we noticed that he was looking her way as she waddled off deliberately shaking her tail at him. He then made his excuses and disappeared off in her direction. This morning they were canoodling by the pool and he was showing off having won the longest, thickest neck competition.

With high winds and large waves on the lagoon today we have had to cancel all water sports but instead we recommend that you visit our Luxury Hotel Spa. We are offering a wonderful range of pampering and relaxing treatments that are well worth the high cost. There’s a special offer on our famous Widewater Mud Mask though Mrs Goldfinch said it brought out a red rash on her cheeks. Alternatively we can offer a Seaweed soufflé mask which Captain Beaky highly recommends although we don’t think he quite understood that you’re not supposed to eat it.

So please make the most of our indoor facilities today and we will look forward to seeing you all at dinner tonight when the Mallards will be entertaining us with yet another hit single – I Quacked All Day and we have a treat in store for fans of special guest star, Basil the Budgie who will be performing Who’s a Pretty Boy then. The Karaoke spot will be limited to one song per guest as we couldn’t get Captain Beaky ( who finally paid his bar tab but we’re checking the card with his bank ) off the mic last night and guests complained that they went to bed with ringing in their ears.

22nd January 2024 It’s a bright and sunny morning here at Hotel Swan with a fresh bracing breeze! Already our teenage Swan guests are having fun in the pool and enjoying the waves! Rest assured, the weather will never spoil your holiday as we provide endless opportunities to enjoy your stay.
We hope you enjoyed the wonderful entertainment with the Mallards and Basil in the Bar last night. Please note there will be a small increase in the price of drinks at the Bar as we now have to pay them an extra 10% on top of their fees due to the constant heckling from Captain Beaky which they say is very stressful and is damaging their reputation. If things don’t improve they will be performing the rest of the Season at the Hotel Danny.

Unfortunately Hilda’s romance with the long necked suitor soon fizzled out as despite her best efforts to flirt with him over a candlelit dinner, he spent the evening preening, looking at his reflection in the window and taking selfies. However there are still 25 hopefuls queuing outside her room eager to catch her attention.

You will probably see Captain Beaky with his son Master Beaky today. Apparently Mrs Beaky told him that she couldn’t take another minute of Master Beaky squawking in her face and she needed a break. The parenting skills of Captain Beaky leave much to be desired so please keep your eyes on your chips at lunch as there will be two to fend off.

Don’t forget to visit our hotel shop for your souvenirs and postcards. You can purchase T-shirts and caps featuring:
The Mallards with the slogan – I  to Quack.
Basil Budgie with the slogan I Basil And our brand new season ,
I  Hilda ( only a few left ) or
I  Captain Beaky ( very few sold )
We wish you all a pleasant day.

23rd January 2024 Good Morning Hotel Swanners! Today Captain Beaky has issued a severe weather warning of an approaching storm and we advise that the Mallards Band and our teenage Swan guests vacate the pool immediately as there is a risk of flying roof tiles. Please don’t be alarmed as the roof is perfectly safe having been recently inspected by Captain Beaky’s mate Gull-ible Roofing Co.

Hilda is shattered this morning as she didn’t get a wink of sleep with her 26 Swan suitors sending her texts all night asking for a date. But last night her eyes met with one very handsome and mysterious Swan across the room in the bar and she instantly felt that special connection. But could she fall in love again after Stanley? She needed some advice and so she decided to ask her wise friend from France, the land of love and romance- Lil Egret who said,

Ah Hilda, C’est L’amour! You must follow your heart. Life can be short for us birds so when happiness comes our way we must embrace it without hesitation.

So Hilda has preened herself to the nines and is presently sitting on her sun bed despite the rain, which doesn’t bother Swans, hoping he will arrive at the garden pool.

Basil was going to drop in for a chat with Captain Beaky in the Bar but he couldn’t find him so he’s joining the Long Necked Swan to look in their mirrors for the rest of the day. And where is Captain Beaky? I’m afraid he’s sitting on top of a distant street lamp hiding from Master Beaky ( and Mrs Beaky ) as only after one day, he has had enough of him Squawking in his face too!

As it’s such a stormy day, we recommend that our guests relax in the Hotel Spa though the prices have unfortunately increased on account of the costly roof repairs.

24th January 2024 The hotel pool is already busy with our young Swan guests being a little boisterous and chasing the Mallards band who are trying to rehearse I Love To Quack for tonight’s entertainment and they’ve already had to put up with Captain Beaky trying to join in! Guests be warned, the resident life guard – Nobby Hasselhoff Swan ( so nicknamed because of his impressive basal knob ) is on duty today and I wouldn’t mess with him! But the happy atmosphere is short lived as a fluffed up, wings raised Hilda approaches hissing across the garden at the 25 Swan guests trying to scrabble out of the pool – Who was it?!!!! Who is the cowardly, money grabbing, sneaking, betraying, scoundrel amongst you? At this point Captain Beaky thought it best to slide under the sunbed hoping no one would notice. Hilda was closing in menacingly, spitting as she hissed, You know who you are, Who was lurking in the Tamarisk bushes last night taking photos of me on my private romantic date with Swan X? And now they are splashed all over the front page of the Daily Telegraph Pole! The Swans are very afraid of the fiesty Hilda so they started accusing each other and pointing their wings – It was him! No, him! She did it! No I didn’t! It was you! At that moment Basil flew in and seizing the opportunity to deflect the blame they pointed in his direction. It was him! Yes it was Basil! Where did he get that fiver to buy a new bell from? And then they all started fighting again and Sid and Johnny had to break it up. Seeing that she wasn’t going to get any answers she gave them a final snort and waddled off to sit on a sun bed to calm down. Unfortunately for him, Captain Beaky was still hiding under it wondering how he would escape without her seeing him or even worse, if the sun bed would collapse on top of him as Hilda had put on a few extra holiday pounds. Luckily the situation was saved by a hotel announcement over the loud speaker inviting guests to assemble in reception as the trip to the Giant Widewater Causeway would soon be departing and a picnic lunch on board the hotel yacht would be provided for all guests. Captain Beaky decided that it was worth risking his life for a free lunch so he slid out from under the sunbed and docking his Captain’s cap and trying to look innocent, he wished Hilda Good morning and hastily scooted off to push himself to the front of the queue for the trip. Later, the guests all agreed that despite their packed lunches going missing, the trip was very interesting and enjoyable and Hilda said it was the highlight of her holiday. Or perhaps that was more to do with the fact that the handsome Swan X sat next to her puffing out his chest

25th January 2024 The Management at Hotel Swan has issued an apology to our guests as their rooms may not be cleaned this morning. Unfortunately our housekeeping team have walked out and are refusing to continue with their duties unless Captain Beaky tidies up his room. They are complaining about the filthy state of his bathroom and bedroom with empty crisp and biscuit packets strewn all over the floor and spills and stains on the bedding. They also noticed that the towels, toiletries, hotel slippers, dressing gown, clock, hair dryer and tea making equipment were stuffed into his suitcase. Hotel staff will be checking his bag before he leaves. We would like to remind him that these items are not complimentary but the property of the Hotel and should not be removed.

As the weather has improved, our exciting programme of outdoor activities will be resumed. Lil Grebe will be continuing her diving lessons in the pool. K. Fisher will be running an Angling course on the lagoon and for the thrill seekers, Bungee jumping from the bridge with Kevin Kestrel and the very popular Swimming lessons from the Hotel Life Guard and Swoon, Nobby Hasselhoff, though this course is now fully booked by Nobby’s fans who are already splashing about excitedly in the pool. Please refrain from screaming when you see him as it disturbs our other guests. We notice that Captain Beaky has signed up for Angling and we hope he is aware that any fish caught should be returned to the lagoon and not consumed.

Entertainment in the bar this evening includes The Mallards performing another of their hits, You drive me Qwackers and there will be a special competition to guess the identity of Hilda’s mystery Swan X which has been causing much speculation and gossip. Basil Budgie has just rung his new bell to announce that he saw them sneaking off for a moonlight swim last night.

26th January 2024 The Hotel is buzzing with the latest gossip about who won the competition to guess the identity of Swan X. Mr Gull- ible the roofer had been spying into his room through a hole in the roof that he was supposed to fix and guessed that it was the Swan Prince Cedric of Sussex because he saw his crown on the dressing table. He will receive his prize of a free cinema ticket to see One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest.

All of a sudden, the air is pierced by a terrible shrieking from Mrs Beaky.

It seems that on the way to the Hotel Kids Club, Tweeties, Captain Beaky carelessly lost Master Beaky when his back was turned to eat a squashed kebab on the pavement. Master Beaky had swooped off sensing adventure and when Captain Beaky turned round, he had gone. Now Mrs Beaky is furiously squawking and then loudly sobbing but mostly threatening to kill Captain Beaky when she can get her wings on him.

Captain Beaky decided it was best to go and look for Master Beaky and was thinking of what HE would do to him when he found him for getting him into trouble! But he had only looked as far as the hotel kitchen when he smelt the chips and decided to have a large breakfast first to keep him going.

Hearing all the commotion, Hilda looked out from her balcony and seeing her handsome new love interest, Prince Cedric reading his book by the pool, she quickly shook her feathers, checked her tail in the mirror and started waddling downstairs. She had only taken a few steps when she stopped and thought – better not be too obviously keen and she waddled back for a book so she could pretend to meet him there on the off chance. Hilda was not a great reader but she knew that Cedric would have had a Royal upbringing and Swantonian Education and she wished she had something more intellectual than a Chick Lit, but it would have to do. She also grabbed her reading glasses as she thought that would help and swanned off to the pool.

Is this sunbed free? said Hilda in her softest but still quite raspy voice. Cedric looked up from his book and their eyes met, Yes it is, he said trying not to grunt too much. So Hilda sat down next to him and opened her book and pretended to read but her heart was beating fast partly because she was so close to Cedric and partly because she was worried that he might ask what she was reading.

Just then an announcement was made over the Hotel Tannoy – Would Captain Beaky please collect his son Master Beaky from Lost Property and as soon as possible as he has eaten all the sweets in the jar provided by the Hotel for other lost children. Captain Beaky was very relieved to find Master Beaky but also very angry and he dive bombed him several times on the way home.

The morning passed too quickly for Hilda as she chatted and laughed and flirted outrageously with Cedric and the books were all but forgotten about and to her delight, he invited her to join him at dinner tonight. This has got to be my perfect day she thought.

27th January 2024 Today at Hotel Swan!

Hilda woke up to the sound of soft cooing floating in through her window. She drew back the curtains to find two Pigeons sitting on the window sill. Good Morning Hilda one cooed, We’re Horace and Doris, the hotel Posties and we’ve brought you a letter from Prince Cedric. Hilda snatched the letter off them in excitement and they flew off muttering about how rude she was. Hilda read the letter out loud, it was a poem :

Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And Summer’s lease hath all too short a date.

William Shakespeare.

Hilda didn’t understand a word and wondered why this William Shakespeare had sent her a poem but then she noticed a further note from Cedric – I’ve booked our tickets for the Cruise today, can’t wait to see you my love!

Hilda sighed then decided she should reply with a poem of her own and as she didn’t know any, she would write one. She plucked a feather out of her tail and dipped the quill in the ink pot and wrote:

Cedric you are so fine

Out of ten I’d give you nine

You are cool and very Manly

But you don’t compare to Stanley

Then she thought she better not write that bit so she crossed it out! Rule 1 of dating – don’t mention your past relationships. Instead she wrote-

I’m not impressed by heart throb Nobby

I’d rather meet you in the Lobby!

Hilda was very pleased with this work of art and she gave it to Horace and Doris to deliver to Cedric.

Saturday is a busy day at Hotel Swan. It’s changeover day and Household staff are busy cleaning rooms and changing bedding and the air is filled with the sound of hoovers and bells ringing. Preparations were also being made in Bar for the famous Celebrity Guest Star appearing tonight, Tommy Teal, booked at great expense.

Hilda had a quick preen and left to catch the party going on today’s trip in search of the legendary Great Widewater Eel never yet seen.

Captain Beaky was standing proudly on the flag pole – All Aboard Captain Beaky’s boat The Lagooner Schooner! And before we set sail please purchase your souvenirs from our shop. We have T-shirts, key rings, caps, mugs, pens, stickers and postcards all featuring the Great Widewater Eel, Messy who we hope to sight today. I saw Messy today, piped up Basil, in Captain Beaky’s room! Everyone laughed except Captain Beaky and the boat set sail.

28th January 2024 Sunday at Hotel Swan.

On the Lagooner Schooner, Captain Beaky had decided to elevate his Naval Rank to Admiral and he appeared at the Helm in full Admiralty regalia and looking through his telescope, he announced that all passengers should look out for the Great Widewater Eel, Messy as it might surface at any moment. Hilda was a bit spooked by this thought and she huddled closer to Cedric. Don’t worry Hilda, I’ll protect you. We Noble Swans won’t be “messed” with! And they both laughed at how witty he was.

Basil piped up, I saw Messy but it turned out to be a sun bed that had blown into the lagoon! which caused more merriment.

Although they had only just set sail, Admiral Beaky decided that it must be time for lunch and he called for Master Beaky to serve the buffet to the passengers. But Master Beaky was no where to be seen and the lunch had also gone missing. Wait til I get my wings on that thieving little wretch, shouted Admiral Beaky failing to see the hypocrisy of his words. But realising that everyone was becoming mutinous, he knew he had to think up a plan and fast. Just then the boat passed the Mitigation Pipe and it dawned on Admiral Beaky that this may provide a solution to his predicament. Lunch was probably swimming around in there and he could garnish it with seaweed as there was always a bit stuck in the grille. He threw himself overboard, much to the astonishment of the passengers and swam over to the outlet. As he peered through the grille into the darkness he noticed something moving – Eureka! It was Freddy Flounder! He’d been trying to catch him for years! Freddy was close and Admiral Beaky had to push his head further in to try and reach him but Freddy was too quick and darted away. Lunch had escaped and as if that wasn’t bad enough, Admiral Beaky now found that his head was stuck in the grille and he couldn’t get it out. He flapped about but to no avail. Everyone on board was laughing and shouting and taking photos. Look everyone, quipped Basil, he’s in a right “messy”. They all thought it was hilarious except for Hilda who felt sorry for him and she asked if anyone could help? No leave him there, “Messy” will probably eat him later, said Nobby a bit sarcastically. Noticing that she was getting upset, Cedric decided to take immediate action and he dived into the lagoon, swimming over to the pipe. He managed to prise open the bars with his powerful bill and Admiral Beaky’s head popped out. Everyone cheered and Cedric dragged an exhausted and embarrassed Admiral Beaky back to the boat.

With Basil now at the Helm, the boat sailed safely back to the hotel. They would probably be back just in time for lunch. No one really believed that Messy existed but as Hilda gazed back out over the lagoon she felt a cold shiver ruffle her feathers and she felt that something was watching her. She snuggled up to Cedric, her Hero.

At the bar later that evening, Captain Beaky sulked over his pint whilst everyone laughed and joked at his expense over his misfortunes that day. But after several more pints he joined in too and they all agreed that it had been a most entertaining trip.

The evening turned into a swinging party and everyone joined Hilda and Cedric on the dance floor as Tommy Teal sang, Little White Bull – finch.

29th January 2024 Hotel Swan. The holiday continues!

A soft cooing from the window sill woke Hilda. It was Horace and Doris, the Pigoen Posties with a letter for her.

Good Morning said Hilda opening the curtains. Morning, said Horace, and he gave her a letter.

We were in the War you know, he suddenly announced.

Yes, the War. echoed Doris

Delivered top secret information.

Top Secret! Doris echoed again.

The War was won thanks to us.

It was. Cooed Doris

We got medals!

Only what we deserved, Doris concurred.

People think we’re pests.

They do.

But we’re Heroes.

And Heroines.

I’m very impressed , Hilda replied and desperate to read her letter snatched it out of his wings and shut the curtains leaving Horace and Doris saying how rude she was.

The letter read:

Dearest Hilda,

These last few days have been the happiest in my life. It would

make me blissfully happy if we could now be officially- a Pair.

With love forever,

Cedric.

Hilda placed the letter on the table next to Stanley’s photo and she thought about all the happy times she spent with her mate of 14 years. How should she reply? Can I really love another Swan? She said out loud. A voice floated through the curtain – Of course you can , he’s a nice boy Hilda and you’re not getting any younger. I’d think myself lucky.

Pulling back the curtain Hilda found Doris standing there.

I opened your letter and read it and thought I’d be needed for advice. I’ve got a column in the Daily Telegraph Pole: “Dear Doris.” Hilda wasn’t pleased with Doris poking her nose in her business and told her to stop meddling. Doris flew off with a final Coo – Say Yes! You can’t afford to be too choosy now you’re losing your looks!

Hilda snorted but she wondered if Doris was right? Perhaps she better become a Pair with Cedric as this may be her last chance of happiness. She started writing her reply:

Dearest Cedric,

Yes I will be a pair with you as I’m getting old and I’ve noticed some wrinkles on my bill so I probably won’t get a better offer. Love Hilda.

No that’s not right she said reading it back and she scrubbed it out and tried again,

Dearest Cedric,

Yes I would be honoured to become a pair with you. Nine out of ten is a pretty good score and we can work on the missing one. Love Hilda.

She didn’t think that was right either but she thought it was the best she could do. She put it in an envelope and opened the curtains.Fortunately Horace was still on the window sill. Don’t mind Doris, he said, she means well. We were in the War you know .. Yes, yes I know – Well done. Hilda was getting impatient. She gave him her reply and he flew off to look for Cedric.

Just then she heard an announcement on the Hotel Tannoy – Guests are invited to join today’s classes –

Avian Yoga with Florrie Flamingo, famous for her astounding ability to stand on one leg.

Or you might like to join our Cookery Class run by Captain Beaky. Today’s special dish is Fish Pie. Sorry that’s just been cancelled as all the ingredients have been eaten.

There’s also Archery with S.P Arrow

Surfing with Nobby Hasselhoff – sorry fully booked.

Tightrope walking with the Steve Starling.

New course! Escapology with Master Beaky.

Whistling with Basil Budgie.

The History of World War 1 and 2 with Horace Pigeon.

We hope you enjoy our extensive and expensive range of activities.

As it had been quite a stressful morning, Hilda decided to book on to the Yoga course, she would be good at the pose Big Bird! And it would give her time to think about Cedric.

30th January 2024 The next instalment of Hotel Swan!

Down at the Pool, Nobby Hasselhoff was trying to keep control of the boisterous teenagers who were larking around and disturbing everyone on the sun beds with their dive bombing and shouting. Molly Mallard, Rep from Sunny Quacks Package Holidays and in charge of organising Games for the Youth Guests, thought that their energies needed channelling so she announced that there would be a competition to see who could Up-end for the longest.

Hilda had listened to the advice of Dear Doris and decided that life was short and though she would always hold a place in her heart for Stanley, it was time to move on. So she met up with Cedric at the pool and they were canoodling on a sun bed and in the excitement of her new found freedom, she decided to show off her youthful ways and join in the Up- ending competition, though it probably wasn’t the most dignified thing to do. She plunged into the pool and dipped her head down. Her tail rose like a magnificent iceberg out of the water. Whoa! Gasped Cedric. Marvelling at how long she could hold this position for.

Horace and Doris were having their lunch break on a near by balcony.

Oh please- Look at her making a show of herself. It’s embarrassing. No wonder she can’t keep a mate. Horace agreed but secretly he thought it was marvellous too.

I thought Swans were supposed to be Noble birds. Doris was on a roll.

So they say. Horace replied.

But THEY got Royal status.

They did.

What did they do in the war?

Nothing.

And we gave our lives.

We did.

That’s what’s wrong with this Country.

It is.

No Fairness.

None.

No Recognition

None at all.

No thanks.

Not one.

I’m going to write to the Parliament of Owls.

You do that.

Hilda won the competition by 1 minute, Molly Mallard came second as the youths said it was boring and had gone off to the skate board bowl and Captain Beaky came third as no one else had entered. The prizes of Caps and badges featuring Captain Beaky, were turned down except for Captain Beaky.

It was almost time for Dinner and Hilda rushed back to her room to get ready for a Romantic evening with Cedric. She couldn’t believe how well it was going! She preened for the next hour and when she was happy that she looked dazzling, she swanned down to the restaurant. Cedric was waiting at their table and he told her how beautiful he thought she was and they sat down together gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes. They hardly noticed the stranger sitting alone at the next table until they heard him complaining about his meal to the waitress, Penny Guin. And this soup has a fly in it! he continued. I’m so sorry, I’ll get another. Penny jumped back into the kitchen. He got out a notepad and feather and started to write in it then he got up and followed Penny into the kitchen .Who’s that creepy looking bird? whispered Hilda to Cedric. Surely he’s not allowed in the kitchen. I think he’s up to no good. Did you see that look in his shifty, watery eyes! And that beak looks lethal! Hilda’s imagination was going wild. Cedric, we better go and save Penny.

She picked up the water jug and headed for the kitchen with Cedric following close behind.

They burst in as the stranger was towering over Penny and talking in a menacing voice – and this kitchen is filthy! I’m sorry said Penny, our cleaners walked out refusing to clean Captain Beaky’s room as it was too messy. Which room is that? he said menacingly. Number 13. And the stranger pushed past Hilda and Cedric and marched out of the restaurant and up the stairs.

Hilda, said Cedric dragging her back into the restaurant, I don’t think he’s a murderer. In fact I’m pretty sure that he’s the Hotel Inspector. It’s Henry Heron and I’ve heard he’s pretty stingy when it comes to awarding stars.

Oh Cedric, you’re so clever. Said Hilda much relieved.

Yes! Thought Cedric. That’s the one. Surely I’m a 10 now.

The terrible state of Captain Beaky’s Room, the empty fridges, the wild, uncontrolled behaviour in the pool and the dangerous state of roof resulted in the Hotel Swan being downgraded from 3 Stars to 1. Captain Beaky thought he’d better steer clear of the management that day so he few off to see if guests at Hotel Danny had left any chips on the tables outside.

31st January 2024 The Saga continues at Hotel Swan!

Hilda was resting in her room when she heard a tap tap on the window. Letter for you Hilda, cooed Doris, It’s from Cedric, it’s a poem.

Have you opened it? hissed Hilda. That’s my private letter!

Only took a little peek retorted Doris.

Hilda snatched the letter and rushed to her bed to read it.

Dear Hilda, Please meet me for dinner on the lagoon bank at 8pm. With all my love, Cedric. The letter continued:

How sweet the moonlight sleeps upon this bank!

Here will we sit, and let the sound of music

Creep in our ears: soft stillness, and the night,

Become the touches of sweet harmony.

William Shakespeare.

Hilda hadn’t got a clue what all that Shakespeare stuff was about but it didn’t matter, she needed to think up another poem in reply, She hadn’t got much time if she was to get ready and meet Cedric at 8pm. So she picked up her quill and wrote:

Dearest Cedric the answer’s Yes!

I just need to pick a dress

And do my hair cos it’s a mess.

Love Hilda.

Happy with another work of art she gave the letter to Doris, who read it and flew off muttering, maybe I should just say it got lost in the post.

Hilda sat down at her dressing table and started preening her feathers. Oh No! she suddenly exclaimed, it isn’t! Yes It is! And she plucked out a grey feather! She was mortified. I’m just getting older and older. First these wrinkles and now a grey feather. Cedric will think I’m his Grandma Swan! And she burst into tears. Doris peered through the curtains. Now pull yourself together Hilda. There’s no shame in having a grey feather. Look at all mine and Horace still loves me. Now come on, Cedric will be waiting.

On the lagoon bank, Cedric had arranged for a romantic candlelight dinner that Penny Guin was just putting the finishing touches to. She was very proud of her efforts, particularly the ice sculpture centre piece of a Polar Bear. Cedric thanked her profusely and she waddled off.

As Hilda approached she was overcome by the beauty of what she saw and tears filled her eyes. Cedric caught her wing and led her to the table and they sat down together gazing into each others eyes. It was perfect. After dinner, they decided to sit by the water in the moonlight and Cedric said that he had a gift for Hilda. He took a small box out from under his wing. Hilda’s heart was beating fast – He’s going to propose she thought.

Hilda I know that Stanley was your first love, Cedric looked deeply into her eyes, but if I could be your second love it would make me the happiest Swan in the world. First or second, Love is Love and never diminishes.

I think that’s a proposal thought Hilda,

Cedric opened the box and took out a ring with a fresh water Pearl that he’d found in the lagoon set in it, Hilda would you do me the honour of becoming my pair? Yes! blurted out Hilda a bit too desperately and Cedric clipped the ring on her leg.

Come on, said Cedric, Let’s go for a moonlit swim! A sudden shiver ruffled Hilda’s feathers but she was too happy to care. They splashed each other in the water sending sparks across the surface. A shooting star whooshed across the sky. They were about to kiss when Cedric disappeared, suddenly, under the surface. And Hilda instantly realised that they hadn’t been alone.

Her shriek pierced the silence of the night and woke everyone up. Somebody help, she cried, Cedric’s been dragged into the lagoon by Messy, please, somebody save him!

Why can’t I be allowed any happiness? Hilda sobbed, just as it comes my way it’s snatched from me.

A small crowd had gathered on the bank to see what all the noise was about. Looks like someone’s in a right old Messy! Quipped Basil.

Sensing free drinks and recognition as the Hero of the day, Captain Beaky started to brief the crowd on a rescue mission, but just then a soggy white shape popped up from under the water. It was Cedric! I’ve had a bit of an adventure, he spluttered, with Messy. He dragged me out into the lagoon and tried to drown me but I walloped him right in the eye with my wing and whilst he was temporarily blinded, I escaped!

Oh Cedric! I thought I’d lost you forever and Hilda threw herself into his wings. And don’t you ever frighten me like that again!

Everyone cheered and Basil rang his bell- Down to the Bar everyone, drinks are on Captain Beaky!

1st February 2024 More shinanigans at Hotel Swan!

It was Valentine’s Day at Hotel Swan and everyone was excited about the day’s events except for Captain Beaky who was trying to find somewhere to hide from Mrs Beaky as he’d forgotten to send her a card. Unfortunately Mrs Beaky had spotted him and was flying towards him like a jet fighter plane. You no good, selfish, waste of space- no card, no flowers nothing for your long suffering wife of 10 years! Well you can forget any thoughts of any Romance with me tonight! And she swooped past him narrowly avoiding collision.

Think you’re in the Gull House Captain Beaky, Basil quipped who had been watching from a nearby tree.

Captain Beaky thought it best to go and hide in the bar all day and he made a hasty retreat.

Everyone was looking forward to the Valentine’s Dinner that night. Penny Guin was putting the final touches to her Valentine’s table and admiring her ice sculpture of two Swans forming a heart shape.

Hilda was in her room getting a bit stressed because she couldn’t find anything to wear. Feathers were strewn all over the floor. Just then she heard a tap tap on her window. She opened the curtains to find a huge bunch of Red Roses on the window sill. Oh! she exclaimed, They’re beautiful! They must be from Cedric.

Doris popped her head out of the foliage-

I’ve read the card Hilda, it’s not what you think. said Doris cryptically. Read the poem:

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Sugar is sweet

And I fancy you.

From your secret admirer – a name that rhymes with Hobby!

Hilda was shocked. No! It can’t be, it’s that horrible Nobby who’s full of himself!

I better get rid of this before Cedric sees it. He’ll think I’m having an affair.

Can you take them back Doris?

No sorry, I can only deliver. Rules are rules.

They are, agreed Horace.

Hilda decided to throw the bouquet in the laundry bin outside her room but as she opened the door, she came face to face with Cedric standing there with another huge bunch of roses!!

His smile disappeared, I see, he said coldly, your other Lover has beaten me to it. Well you won’t be wanting these. And he threw his flowers in the laundry bin and walked off quickly.

No Cedric, exclaimed Hilda. It’s not what you think, I love you not Nobby, come back … But Cedric kept on walking away.

Hilda went back into her room and sat on the bed. Oh Doris, why am I so unlucky in love. And a tear trickled down her bill.

Cedric decided that he needed to cool off in the hotel pool. As he approached he saw Nobby in there showing off to all his admirers.

Who’s your Valentine Nobby?

Can it be me?

Who’s the lucky lady?

It’s Hilda, Nobby announced. She can’t resist me, no one can. I’ll only have to snap my feathers and she’ll come running.

Cedric felt his blood boiling. I’ll fight for Hilda, I’d die for Hilda and he plunged into the pool busking up to Nobby even though he was a smaller Swan.

Well, well, what do we have here? It’s little Cedric trying to compete with Me, Nobby taunted, Now run along little boy and get out of my territory or would you like me to teach you how to be a real Cob?! They both arched their wings, fluffed up their feathers and laid their heads back in threat posture and busked towards each other.

My money’s on Nobby, whispered Basil. I don’t think this is going to end well for Cedric. The atmosphere was tense and the situation was getting serious.

Hilda had been watching anxiously from her balcony. I can’t just stand here and watch, she cried, and she flew down to the pool.

Stop it, both of you! she hissed, I don’t even like you Nobby, I love Cedric.

Everyone looked at Nobby waiting for his reaction to this public humiliation.

He backed off, laughing, Did you really think I’d look twice at that old boiler!

And his friends laughed and patted him on the back with their wings.

Come on Cedric, Hilda called softly, he’s not worth it.

Cedric climbed out of the pool. I’m sorry Hilda, I misjudged you and I doubted you. I was jealous. Can you ever forgive me?

Yes of course, she replied, but you must promise me that you will trust me from now on?

Cedric took her wing, I will Hilda, always. Now let’s go to the Valentine Dinner!

How Romantic, said Mrs Beaky

How Corny, said Captain Beaky

That was a bit tense, said Doris

It was, said Horace

It could have got Messy! Quipped Basil.

Feeling greatly relieved, they all went off to the Valentine’s Dinner following the strains of music as The Mallards sang,

Save all your Quacks for me!

2nd February 2024 The sun rose over Hotel Swan and Captain Beaky was already selling tickets in Reception for his day trip around the Lagoon to see the Puffins on the East Island. Mrs Beaky had told him he’d never get away with it as Puffins were Arctic birds and there was nothing on that island except Scrub and maybe a Cormorant if he was lucky. But Captain Beaky wasn’t deterred and assured her that he could wing it!

Come and get your tickets, he squawked, See the Puffins on East Island. Enjoy a relaxing sail on the Luxury Lagooner Schooner. Lunch is included in the price.

That does sound fun Cedric, said Hilda as they left the Restaurant after Breakfast. Shall we go? Cedric had his reservations, It’s a bit expensive Hilda,

And I don’t think there are Puffins in this part of the world, but if your heart is set on it, we shall go. A relaxing sail is just what we need after all the excitement of Valentines Day!

They bought their tickets and made their way down to the Lagoon Marina where Captain Beaky’s boat, The Greasy Chip, was moored.

I was under the impression that it was a luxury Schooner, said Hilda. It’s out of service today, replied Captain Beaky but I have this other beautiful boat ready to sail.

Passengers were boarding and Hilda spotted her friends Horace and Doris, Penny Guin, Basil, Lil Grebe and The Mallards already on the deck. She also noticed that the boat wasn’t in very good condition. The paint was peeling, the sails were torn and there were a few holes in the sides of the boat. Cedric, do you think this boat is safe? It looks a bit of a wreck!

I heard that, Captain Beaky scowled, I’ll have you know that this ship is fit for Royalty and absolutely unsinkable!

Well that’s jinxed it, Basil piped up and he considered disembarking.

But Captain Beaky had drawn in the anchor and the Greasy Chip had already set sail. The boat creaked and rocked but somehow managed to drift out into the lagoon. The wind was picking up and the waves were getting larger. The boat started to roll. Urgh! said Doris, I feel a bit queasy. Me too, said Horace. Those Pigeons look more like Green Parrots! Basil joked. Everyone laughed.

They passed the famous Mitigation Pipe and as everyone was taking photos, Captain Beaky thought it was a good time to have lunch.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Lunch will now be served on the Poop Deck. As they arrived, they were horrified to see what a dirty, disgusting state it was in.

Captain Beaky had obviously been doing his business there but not scrubbing the deck afterwards.

Poop deck! Very aptly named, Basil observed. Everyone laughed.

Help yourselves to the buffet, said Captain Beaky proudly.

On the table there was what can only be described as the contents of a bin emptied out on the table.

It’s disgusting, the passengers complained, It’s inedible. A health hazard. We’re not eating that! Captain Beaky couldn’t see the problem so he sat down and devoured the lot.

Penny Guin saved the day by producing a wonderful picnic from a hamper she had brought. There was even an ice sculpture of a Puffin for the centre piece.

They were approaching Puffin Island and Captain Beaky was looking through his telescope. Look everyone, Puffins!! Everyone grabbed their binoculars. I can’t see them, said Hilda. Neither can I, Cedric agreed. And then everyone joined in, Where are the Puffins? The tone changed. There aren’t any! Never was! We’ve been conned. We want our money back! Captain Beaky tried to wriggle out of the situation – Yes there are, hundreds of them. But they live in holes so they’re probably in those…. asleep.

Everyone was arguing and they didn’t notice that the floor was wet and that water was filling up the boat until Hilda felt that her feet were wet and she looked down. Cedric! she shrieked, We’re sinking!

The Greasy Chip lurched and started to lean heavily to one side. Passengers were sliding across the deck and trying to grab anything to hold on to.

Save our souls!- Doris called out. And everyone started panicking. The Mallards jumped over board and swam away. Launch the life boat Captain Beaky, shouted Cedric taking control. But the lifeboat was already launched and Captain Beaky was sitting in it. Everyone rushed to get a place and as it was too small for them all, they just piled in on top of each other. But their troubles were not over yet. The lifeboat was rotten and it started to fill up with water too.

We’re all going to die, wailed Doris. We are , said Horace.

No, we can make it to the Island, said Cedric calmly. And he started rowing to the shore. Hilda gazed proudly at Cedric.

They just made it to the island before the Life boat sank. Cedric sent up a flare and before long they saw two great wings flying towards them. It was Albert-Tross Air and Sea Rescue and they all cheered! One by one they climbed on to the great wings and soon they were flying back to the safety of the hotel. Looking back, Captain Beaky watched the Greasy Chip sink into the lagoon. He’d have to think of another money spinner now.

5th February 2024 Further shenanigans at Hotel Swan!

Hilda went down to breakfast and as she went downstairs she heard a terrible loud noise. What is that?! She thought. It got louder and louder, reaching ear splitting pitch as she opened the restaurant door. A party of Trumpeter Swans from North America had arrived during the night and were trumpeting at the top of their voices. Hilda sat down at her table wondering how long she could take it for. Then to her surprise one of them got up and strutted over to her table. He introduced himself, John- Swan Trump – no relation to Donald though! Then he laughed as loudly as he trumpeted. Mind if I sit down? And before she could say, sorry, that seat is taken, he had plonked himself down and was helping himself to her tea. He proceeded to tell her his life story trumpeting with laughter after most sentences. Fortunately for Hilda, Cedric arrived at the restaurant and she saw her opportunity to escape. But Cedric sat down at her table for breakfast and John- Swan Trump proceeded to tell the story all over again.

There was an announcement on the Hotel Tannoy. Would guests please be aware that a Juvenile has gone missing and we would be grateful if you could inform reception if you see him. He is brown and speckled, has a grey beak and a very loud and annoying Squawk! We suspect that he may have been lost deliberately.

The Hotel had extensive gardens and Master Beaky had wandered off looking for scraps on the paths. He looked around and realising he was lost, began to cry in a squawky kind of way. Penny Guin had also gone for a waddle around the garden looking for inspiration for her next ice sculpture -Oooh, she exclaimed, look at these Humpback Whale Hostas, perhaps I could create a gigantic Whale Tail she thought but her thoughts were interrupted by the whimpers she could hear close by and she looked round to find Master Beaky. Hello young lad, she said , Are you lost? Master Beaky nodded his Beak, Well come with me and we’ll go and find your Mother she said kindly. She took his wing and walked him back to the kitchen where she made him a cup of hot chocolate and put a Pilchard on top. Master Beaky cheered up immediately and drank the lot in one gulp! She then phoned reception and asked if they could make an announcement. Would the parents of Master Beaky please come to collect him from Lost Property. Mrs Beaky flew straight down there to collect him catching a glimpse of Captain Beaky coming out of the kitchen with a chip in his beak. I’ll deal with you later, she squawked menacingly. Basil flew by laughing, Hope you enjoyed that chip cos it’s probably going to be your last chip supper!

Hilda was desperate to escape from John Swan-Trump who had gone on to talk about his hobby, naming all the Cloud formations, so she stood up interrupting him in mid flow, Well lovely to meet you but Cedric and I must go as we’re going …. Errr…. Hilda glanced at the Hotel Notice Board advertising today’s Activities, Donkey riding! Cedric’s eyes widened. Are we?! Hilda looked daggers at him, Yes, Yes we are. Goodbye John. They started to make for the door. That sounds fun! Boomed John Swan-Trump, Mind if I join you?

Sorry it’s fully booked, Hilda said a bit too quickly and she grabbed Cedric’s wing and they hurried off.

We’re not really going Donkey riding are we? Cedric said with a worried look on his face. Of course not, replied Hilda, i had to think of something to get away from that dreadful, loud, boring Trumpeter Swan. No, We’re really going on Captain Beaky’s Treasure Hunt. Cedric considered which was worse and thought he’d rather go Donkey riding.

Captain Beaky was in Reception where a group of guests had gathered to go on the Treasure Hunt.

It’s simple, he said, Find the clues hidden in the grounds. Each one will lead you to the next clue and the last one will lead you to the Treasure!

What’s the Treasure? asked Horace.

Is it Jewels and Diamonds? Doris said hopefully.

It’s the treasure he found at the bottom of the lagoon when the Greasy Chip sank! Horace suggested.

Maybe it’s a big pile of cash? Shouted Nobby

Oh no, whispered Hilda to Cedric, Its Nobby, he’s turned up! And he’s so competitive.

Don’t worry, he doesn’t stand a chance of winning , said Cedric competitively, He won’t be able to work out the clues!

I know what the treasure is, piped up Basil, It’s a bag of chips! Everyone laughed.

Captain Beaky ended the speculation

You’ll have to wait til the end to find out what the exciting and valuable Treasure is! Now are we ready? Three, Two, One. Go!

Everyone started frantically looking round Reception for the first clue.

They found it straight away lying on the Reception desk. It read:

You may need a fan whilst getting a tan.

Horace worked it out first – Must be by the Pool!

They all rushed off with Cedric and Nobby neck to neck. There it is! On the sunbed! Shouted Nobby triumphantly. And he snatched it up. What does it say? Asked Cedric smirking. Errr…. B- Y- T…. Nobby struggled to read it. Give it to me said Cedric snatching it off him.

By the gate, it carries much weight..

They all rushed off to the gates by the hotel main entrance. Cedric got there first.There it is! In that crate!

He grabbed the next clue and read it out:

Captain Beaky is here, having a Beer.

That’s easy! Said Nobby proudly. It’s in the Chip Shop! Everyone laughed.

Don’t be ridiculous! scoffed Horace, obviously it’s the Bar! They all ran to the Bar. And Captain Beaky was indeed sitting there having several Beers with Swan-John Trump and discussing cloud formations. And I saw one that looked like a crinkle cut chip! Joked Captain Beaky! They both cried with laughter and slapped each other on the back.

Where’s the last clue Captain Beaky? Basil chirped. Captain Beaky had forgotten to write the last one. He thought quickly, oh yes, the last clue, it’s a verbal one.

Suspicious Glances were passed around the party. Well……..?

Fill this jar with all your money, the clue is underneath the honey!

Cedric wasn’t being fooled, Or I could just pick the empty jar up and look?

And he did.

The clue read: Where Captain Beaky’s souvenirs are sold. You will find the Chest of Gold!

The Shop! Nobby shouted smugly.

It became a race to the finishing line between Nobby and Cedric. They pushed and shoved and hissed at each other all the way there.

It was a dead heat, they saw the Treasure chest in the shop window and both grabbed it at the same time. A tug of war ensued and resulted in the chest bursting open and the contents spilling out on to the floor.

Everyone gasped! Cash and jewels cascaded on to the floor!

We’re rich – Doris cheered,

Stinking Rich – Horace added

Oh Cedric, Hilda sighed, We can build our nest out of Gold Leaf!

I can have a lavish retirement Igloo, imagined Penny Guin.

Basil, had been looking more closely at the Treasure. Sorry to peck your bubble, but this is Monopoly money and these diamonds are Floral Gums!

Captain Beaky was crouching down behind the Bar with the very large Trumpeter Swan John concealing him.

Where is he? The Rogue. Said Doris,

The Scoundrel. Added Horace.

The Con Artist. Why do we always fall for it? Said Cedric.

That sunken wreck the Greasy Chip wouldn’t have any Treasure on board. Hilda was almost in tears seeing her dream nest evaporating.

There’s only mud and bits of sun bed at the bottom of the Lagoon! Lil Grebe informed them. Then, an unearthly voice seemed to float across the misty water. My Treasure is missing. Messy is angered and will seek revenge! Everyone fell silent. Basil tweeted. Cold shivers ruffled their feathers.

And they all hurried to the safety of the Bar.

When the coast was clear, Captain Beaky emerged from the Bar holding a

Vocoder. John Swan Trump shook his wing- Oh you’re good! He laughed.

7th February 2024 Wishing Wells and Wedding Bells. The next episode of Hotel Swan.

It was late in the evening, Hilda was in her room getting ready for bed. She was deep in thought. I want to ask you something, she said picking up her photo of Stanley. Will you give me your blessing to be a pair with Cedric? It won’t mean that I’ve stopped loving you. I always will and I will keep you in a special part of my heart forever. But I have to live my life now you’re gone. I know you would want me to be happy. She looked up to the sky and felt he was there, a star twinkled in the night sky and she knew it was Stanley, letting her go. Thank you, I love you she said. Her thoughts took her back in time to her wedding with Stanley. They were young. He was a Lake Swan of high breeding and she was a River Swan, they met and fell in love but his parents disapproved and forbade the marriage. So they flew to Gretna Preen and married secretly, just the two of them. It was so romantic and blissful and they lived happily together for 14 years until the end of Stanley’s life. She drifted off to sleep with her happy memories and with Stanley’s blessing.

Next morning she woke up feeling full of excitement, Doris, she said out loud, I think I should start planning my wedding to Cedric. Doris was having a nap on the window sill, she opened one eye, I think it’s a bit premature Hilda, you’ve only just got engaged.

But there’s so much to do! The dress, the venue, the flowers, the cars, the bridesmaids, the photographer, the reception, the honeymoon, the … Doris interrupted her, Now just hold on, have you spoken to Cedric about all this? Have you even got a date?

Well no, not yet but I want it to be perfect so I’m doing some pre- planning. I’ve been getting some inspiration from Winged Weddings Magazines. She opened the door of her bedside locker and a whole avalanche of Wedding magazines fell out. Doris laughed, looks like It’s going to be the wedding of the year for sure! But I think you should discuss this with Cedric because he may not want a big wedding.

Of course he does! exclaimed Hilda, We’re Swans. The most romantic birds. I want a big fancy wedding that will be the talk of the Lagoon for years! But you’re right Doris, we need to set the date so I better speak to Cedric. She hurried off to find him. Doris turned to Horace, we didn’t need a fancy wedding did we? No said Horace, Couldn’t afford one. We just popped up to a dirty old chimney pot and not long after, you were sitting on nine eggs in the nest.

Couldn’t waste any time Horace, our lives could have ended at any moment in the War with our dangerous jobs. Yes, Doris, War puts things into perspective.

Hilda was running about looking for Cedric and as she turned a corner she bumped into Penny Guin- Hey! Steady on! Said Penny, What’s the hurry?

I’ve got to find Cedric urgently, I’m planning my Wedding and I need a date. Penny’s Crest feathers pricked up, A Wedding!! She honked, Oh how exciting! And I’m just the bird you need to help you plan it all!

Hilda didn’t want to be rude but she couldn’t help saying, Well it’s my wedding and I’m going to plan it. Penny’s Crest fell – But maybe you could do the catering? Offered Hilda. Half of Penny’s Crest stood back up, And the flowers? The rest of her Crest rose. I’d love to! Honked Penny with excitement. I’m going to start looking for inspiration now! The ice sculpture centre piece for the table will be a massive Polar Bear! Hilda looked perplexed- Why? Because it will be my greatest challenge! Penny explained. We better discuss this later, said Hilda and she rushed off.

In the Games Room, Cedric was playing Wing Pong with Captain Beaky. Basil was the Umpire.

Deuce – announced Basil

They played on. They had been playing for several hours. Captain Beaky started to think about chips and lost concentration and Cedric took advantage smashing down two winning shots. And the Winner is: Cedric! Basil clapped his wings. And the Loser is: Captain Beaky! Basil turned his wing tip down. But it was a friendly match so they decided to go for a pint in the Bar. Hilda arrived just as they were leaving. Cedric! She called, I need to talk to you urgently, it’s desperate.

I’ll join you in a few minutes, Cedric said to Basil and Captain Beaky.

Now what’s so urgent Hilda?

I need a date!

What for? Cedric asked.

Our Wedding of course! Hilda was exasperated.

A Wedding?! He had to think fast. So….. probably in a year or two. Cedric replied unknowingly digging his own grave.

Hilda was taken a back. Two Years? !!!! I’m not waiting that long! I was thinking June or July THIS year. Hilda was disappointed at his lack of enthusiasm.

I don’t think you really want to be a pair with me, you’re just putting it off. You’ve had second thoughts. Cold feet. Commitment issues. You’re already in a pair! Hilda was torturing herself with imaginings.

Cedric took her wing. Hilda, I only said two years because I was thinking that we needed to save up for a wedding and we’ll need a deposit for our nest.

Oh, Hilda breathed, I feel silly now. I panicked. I just can’t wait to be your pair.

I know, Cedric said, Me too. Look, we don’t need a fancy wedding, we could find a pretty island, just you and I and we could ask Corbin to officiate.

Hilda gazed lovingly at Cedric and thought how romantic he was. Then she thought about her big fancy wedding dreams that might be evaporating. He seemed to read her mind. But if your heart is set on a big fancy wedding Hilda, I’ll find a way to make it happen. Captain Beaky interrupted the moment. Fear Not! Your prayers have been answered- Captain Beaky’s Budget Weddings! The happiest day of your life guaranteed. Free Crab Claw Confetti included in the price! Read the reviews- no perhaps don’t ……

Hilda and Cedric slipped away leaving him talking to himself.

9th February 2024 Hotel Swan. Chief Birdmaid and Best Bird!

As Hilda got ready for bed that night, she couldn’t help going to the mirror to see if she had a black eye. Yes, I knew it, she said looking so closely that she banged her bill on the mirror. It’s going to be a great big shiner on my wedding day! It will be in all the photos forever, Cedric will think I’m ugly and everyone will be trying not to laugh as I walk down the aisle. She shed a few tears and felt sorry for herself but then it occurred to her that the solution was to put her veil over her face and not take it off! Feeling relieved that she had worked out a way to avoid humiliation on her wedding day she climbed into bed and fell asleep.

As Dawn broke the next day, Doris was sitting on the window sill waiting for Hilda to wake up. Basil arrived and sat next to her and then Captain Beaky tried to land but he was too big.

I just want a glimpse, he Squawked, I’ll hover. Rumours of Hilda’s black eye had been whispered round the hotel and everyone wanted to see if it was true. Hearing the birds twittering, Hilda opened her eyes and sat up.

Wowzer!

Good Grief!

Holy Mackerel!

They all exclaimed at the same time when they saw Hilda’s black eye.

Tut tut, I’d say the wedding’s off, cheeped Basil.

Such a shame, said Doris shaking her head.

Don’t worry Hilda, I’ll give you a very good price for these genuine designer sunglasses, said Captain Beaky, lifting up his wing to reveal a display of cheap looking sunglasses.

Hilda was in no mood for unhelpful suggestions. Go away! All of you! and she shut the window causing them to fall off the sill.

She sat at her dressing table looking in the mirror. It was even more colourful today. She sighed.

There was a knock on the door. Oh no, thought Hilda, It’s Cedric. She hid under the bed. The knocking continued then the door opened.

Hello? A voice honked. Hilda?

Hilda immediately recognised who it was and peered out from under the bed. Goosey Bump!! She crawled out and flung her wings around her friend. I’m so glad to see you! Look at me, I’m hideous, the wedding’s off and I’m doomed to be single for the rest of my life!

Just hold on there you silly Swan, honked Goosey. Let me see. She took a good look at Hilda’s eye. Hmm, yes it’s a corker that’s for sure but as I’m your Chief Bird-maid, feather dresser and makeup artist, I’ll make sure you look like a perfect Swan Princess on your wedding day. Oh Goosey, Hilda said hugging her, You really are my best friend, I can’t thank you enough. How many times have you got me out of scrapes?!

Remember when we were at Wildfowl school said Goosey and we were building nests In Domestic Science? You put an egg in yours and wrote H S on it! Hilda looked pensive. She was thinking of Stanley. Goosey read her thoughts: All the Pens fancied Stanley! He was so handsome. But you were the lucky one that he chose and you had all those blissful years together til the end of his days and now you have the chance of happiness again with Cedric. You’re a lucky Swan Hilda. Hilda cheered up. Goosey continued reminiscing, then Mrs Greylag came round and was furious. That’s my visual aid that you’ve defiled with graffiti Hilda. I’m going to write to your parents about this.

Yes, said Hilda, but you asked Doris to give you the letter to deliver and then you threw it away!

They both laughed and shared happy memories of their lives as Juveniles and Hilda forgot all about her black eye.

Cedric was in a quandary. The Wedding day was almost here and he still hadn’t chosen his Best Bird. He considered the options: Basil, (Might reveal embarrassing stories), John – Swan Trump, ( too full of himself ) Horace ( would talk about the War ) or Captain Beaky. Well, it seemed like there was no choice except to risk Captain Beaky.

Cedric found him in the hotel Bar. Captain Beaky, I have an important question for you. Captain Beaky got ready to run, what had Cedric found out?

Would you be my Best Bird?

Captain Beaky choked on his Beer. Best Bird?! My dear Cedric, of course, I thought you’d never ask?! You won’t regret this. I’ll start on the speech right away! And he even bought Cedric a Beer to celebrate. Now that Cedric had chosen his Best Bird and was already regretting it, all he needed to do now was to tell Hilda! He thought it best to choose his moment…. much later.

12th February 2024 Hotel Swan. Chief Birdmaid and Best Bird!

As Hilda got ready for bed that night, she couldn’t help going to the mirror to see if she had a black eye. Yes, I knew it, she said looking so closely that she banged her bill on the mirror. It’s going to be a great big shiner on my wedding day! It will be in all the photos forever, Cedric will think I’m ugly and everyone will be trying not to laugh as I walk down the aisle. She shed a few tears and felt sorry for herself but then it occurred to her that the solution was to put her veil over her face and not take it off! Feeling relieved that she had worked out a way to avoid humiliation on her wedding day she climbed into bed and fell asleep.

As Dawn broke the next day, Doris was sitting on the window sill waiting for Hilda to wake up. Basil arrived and sat next to her and then Captain Beaky tried to land but he was too big.

I just want a glimpse, he Squawked, I’ll hover. Rumours of Hilda’s black eye had been whispered round the hotel and everyone wanted to see if it was true. Hearing the birds twittering, Hilda opened her eyes and sat up.

Wowzer!

Good Grief!

Holy Mackerel!

They all exclaimed at the same time when they saw Hilda’s black eye.

Tut tut, I’d say the wedding’s off, cheeped Basil.

Such a shame, said Doris shaking her head.

Don’t worry Hilda, I’ll give you a very good price for these genuine designer sunglasses, said Captain Beaky, lifting up his wing to reveal a display of cheap looking sunglasses.

Hilda was in no mood for unhelpful suggestions. Go away! All of you! and she shut the window causing them to fall off the sill.

She sat at her dressing table looking in the mirror. It was even more colourful today. She sighed.

There was a knock on the door. Oh no, thought Hilda, It’s Cedric. She hid under the bed. The knocking continued then the door opened.

Hello? A voice honked. Hilda?

Hilda immediately recognised who it was and peered out from under the bed. Goosey Bump!! She crawled out and flung her wings around her friend. I’m so glad to see you! Look at me, I’m hideous, the wedding’s off and I’m doomed to be single for the rest of my life!

Just hold on there you silly Swan, honked Goosey. Let me see. She took a good look at Hilda’s eye. Hmm, yes it’s a corker that’s for sure but as I’m your Chief Bird-maid, feather dresser and makeup artist, I’ll make sure you look like a perfect Swan Princess on your wedding day. Oh Goosey, Hilda said hugging her, You really are my best friend, I can’t thank you enough. How many times have you got me out of scrapes?!

Remember when we were at Wildfowl school said Goosey and we were building nests In Domestic Science? You put an egg in yours and wrote H S on it! Hilda looked pensive. She was thinking of Stanley. Goosey read her thoughts: All the Pens fancied Stanley! He was so handsome. But you were the lucky one that he chose and you had all those blissful years together til the end of his days and now you have the chance of happiness again with Cedric. You’re a lucky Swan Hilda. Hilda cheered up. Goosey continued reminiscing, then Mrs Greylag came round and was furious. That’s my visual aid that you’ve defiled with graffiti Hilda. I’m going to write to your parents about this.

Yes, said Hilda, but you asked Doris to give you the letter to deliver and then you threw it away!

They both laughed and shared happy memories of their lives as Juveniles and Hilda forgot all about her black eye.

Cedric was in a quandary. The Wedding day was almost here and he still hadn’t chosen his Best Bird. He considered the options: Basil, (Might reveal embarrassing stories), John – Swan Trump, ( too full of himself ) Horace ( would talk about the War ) or Captain Beaky. Well, it seemed like there was no choice except to risk Captain Beaky.

Cedric found him in the hotel Bar. Captain Beaky, I have an important question for you. Captain Beaky got ready to run, what had Cedric found out?

Would you be my Best Bird?

Captain Beaky choked on his Beer. Best Bird?! My dear Cedric, of course, I thought you’d never ask?! You won’t regret this. I’ll start on the speech right away! And he even bought Cedric a Beer to celebrate. Now that Cedric had chosen his Best Bird and was already regretting it, all he needed to do now was to tell Hilda! He thought it best to choose his moment…. much later.

17th February 2024 Hotel Swan. A Night to Remember.

The Mallards band were playing ‘When a Cob loves a Pen’ in the Bar. It was the Cob night and the Cobs were enjoying some friendly banter. Have you booked your Honeymoon on the Greasy Chip? Life belts included in the price! Basil quipped. Captain Beaky came over to swat him but he escaped and flew up to sit on the Chandelier.

Hilda and her friends had arranged to have their Pen night in the Bar not knowing that the Cobs would be there too. They were sitting at a table on the other side of the Lounge watching the Cobs. They won’t know it’s us in our masks laughed Hilda to Goosey. This is going to be fun Hilda, said Goosey mischievously.

Captain Beaky made an announcement at the end of the song. Cedric, old boy, it’s your last night as a Bachelor Cob so I have organised a treat for you. Cedric looked worried.

A spot light shone on the small stage in the Lounge and the curtains opened to a drum roll.

Captain Beaky continued, Cobs and Pens, May I have the pleasure of introducing The Sensational, The Dazzling, The beak droppingly beautiful- Bali Bird of Paradise!

The Bali Bird appeared shaking her astonishingly colourful plumage and beaks did drop at this wondrous spectacle! She danced her way towards Cedric.

If she touches Cedric I’ll go and pluck her feathers out! Hissed Hilda jealously. Don’t worry Hilda, Look, she’s too much for Cedric, he’s trying to hide behind Captain Beaky!

Nobby had turned up and he strutted over pushing past Cedric, Hey Bali Babe, wanna dance with a real Cob? he taunted. Nobby caught the Bali bird’s wing and gave her a twirl but her tail feathers got caught in Nobby’s feet and tripped him up and he ended up sprawled out on the floor. Everyone laughed. So when’s the Real Cob showing up Nobby? Quipped Basil. Oh Shut up, said Nobby spitting feathers out of his beak.

Who invited him?! Cedric said. No one, replied Captain Beaky, He invited himself!

Well, It’s my party and I’m going to tell him to leave, said Cedric.

No. It will just end up in a fight. Relax, let it go. He’s not worth it. Said John Swan -Trump loudly ushering Cedric away. Let’s go and ask those masked maidens to dance with us, he said to distract Cedric.

The Cobs crossed the room towards the Pens.

Hilda saw Cedric approaching. Oh no Goosey! He’s coming over!

It’s ok. He doesn’t know it’s you, ask him to tell you about Hilda! See what he says! Goosey thought this was an hilarious plan.

That’s too sneaky Goosey. But I will!

Cedric asked Hilda to dance and he told her that his future wife was the Love of his Life , the most Perfect Swan on the Earth and that he was the Happiest Cob in the World. Hilda felt tears of joy in her eyes, She’s the luckiest Swan on the Planet, she managed to say.

Of course Cedric knew it was Hilda – he knew her too well but he went along with the ruse.

Everyone was dancing , laughing and singing to the Mallards Band – Wishing Wells, Wedding Bells …. Captain Beaky was finishing off the Buffet leftovers.

Basil was watching the party from the Chandelier that he was perched on. He was the first to notice that the crack in the ceiling was getting longer and he realised that the situation could be catastrophic. He tried to warn everyone – Look Out! he cheeped as loudly as he could but it was too late, there was a loud ripping noise that split the air, the lights flickered and then went out, and the entire ceiling collapsed.

19th February 2024 Hotel Swan. What happened next!

At first there was silence. It was too dark to see much. A smell of chalky dust filled the air. Shock. Then realisation.

Cedric! Hilda called out his name weakly. No answer. She couldn’t move. A heavy weight was on top of her. More voices. Has anyone got a torch?

Captain Beaky struggled out from where he had taken shelter under the Bar. He had found a torch and was shining it around the room.

Holy Mackerel It looks like a scene from Blizzard ! he exclaimed.

The floor and everyone sprawled over it, were covered in a white coating of plaster dust.

Well, that was exciting, he coughed.

Then realising that this wasn’t really a time to joke he added Is anyone hurt?

Yes, Hilda cried, I can’t move. There’s something on top of me.

Goosey was lying near to Hilda,

Give me a torch. Captain Beaky, crossed the room climbing over obstacles and creating clouds of dust. Everyone was coughing.

He shone the torch on Hilda. Holy Mackerel!

Stop saying that and help!

Hilda, said Goosey softly, it’s Cedric, he’s lying on top of you. He was protecting you. But I think he’s …

What?! He’s what?! Hilda was desperate fearing the worst. But before Goosey could utter those dreadful words, Cedric’s eyes flickered open and the first words that he spoke were, Hilda, are you alright?

Yes I am, oh Cedric you saved me, you protected me with your wings but you’re hurt. Don’t you go and die.

That was a bit blunt! cheeped Basil who had taken refuge on an exposed beam in the ceiling.

No, I’m fine Hilda. I’m not going to die! But I can’t seem to move this wing much.

Oh no! cried Hilda, it’s broken, now you’ll never fly again!

Ooooh, cheeped Basil, there she goes again.

Just then, the door burst open. Light flooded into the room and Dr Ake, waddled in. Now who needs medical assistance? he asked,

Over here, Dr, called Hilda, please help my Cedric.

Dr Ake made his way through the dust to Cedric. Hmmm. Let me see. He examined Cedric’s wing.

I’m afraid it’s broken.

Hilda burst into tears.

But ….. it’s not a bad break. The bone could knit back together.

Hilda stopped weeping. Could it?

It’s possible but there are no guarantees. I’ll set it and bandage it and leave it to nature to do its work.

Oh Thank you Dr Ake, Hilda flung her dusty wings round him. They both coughed.

Yes, well, the Dr wriggled out of Hilda’s grasp, I can’t promise that it will but let’s stay optimistic Anyway. I must get on unless anyone else needs medical attention?

Fortunately, apart from being covered in dust, the guests seemed to have had a lucky escape.

Could have been a lot worse. Said Doris,

It could, agreed Horace.

We could all be dead!

We could.

Fortunately we just got covered in plaster dust!

You look like a Dove,Doris.

Thank you Horace.

You all look like Fred the Flour Grader, quipped Basil.

Well you look like a Cockatiel! said Penny- Guin. Basil flew off to look in his mirror.

Captain Beaky’s mind was spinning. He might get sued for damages since he had employed his mate, Gull- ible plasterers for the job of repairing the ceiling.

Now then, he announced, No harm done. We just all need a shower then a few drinks and we’ll soon see the funny side of this.

Everyone scowled at him angrily but before they had time to move in for the kill, Captain Beaky had bolted out of the door.

Hotel Swan Management organised a clear up operation of the debris in the Lounge and guests were advised to avoid the area. They also arranged for their Insurance company to investigate the cause of the ceiling collapse which turned out to be wood rot in the beams. Gull-ible Building Company were exonerated and Captain Beaky dodged another bullet.

20th February 2024 Hotel Swan. Picking Up The Pieces. Hilda and Cedric were resting in the garden in the sun.

Hotel Swan. Picking Up The Pieces. Hilda and Cedric were resting in the garden in the sun.

You know Hilda, I’ve been thinking. I had a lucky escape and for some reason, I’m alive and now I know that the reason is you. I have a new perspective on life. It can be cut short in an instant, it’s fragile, tenuous, frangible. Hilda wondered what those words meant but she nodded. Cedric continued, We mustn’t waste a precious second which brings me to the point.

Thank goodness for that, cheeped Basil who was listening in from a nearby bush.

Excuse me! Hilda turned to where the voice was coming from, This is a private conversation!

Go on Cedric.

Let’s get married tomorrow! He announced.

A gasp was heard in the bush. Hilda didn’t know whether to jump for joy or cry. Her mind flooded with thoughts. What about the plans? What would she wear? What about the photos? Cedric had a broken wing and it would look awful.

Cedric saw her look of panic. I’m sorry, this is all too sudden for you, he said, and anyway, perhaps there’s something we should talk about first: my broken wing. If I can’t fly, I can’t be a good mate. I couldn’t protect our cygnets. I couldn’t defend our nest and territory. In fact I’d be useless. So maybe it’s better if I just set you free.

That went downhill fast, said Basil.

It was a bit much for Hilda- the wedding was on tomorrow and now it’s off all together!

You don’t want to marry a Dud Hilda. Basil called out.

Are you still here? hissed Hilda.

Just leaving, Basil flew out from the bush.

Cedric, I don’t have to think about this. Last night you protected me, laid down your life for me and I would do the same for you. Yes you’re right, I should think about those things but I love you and my heart says that you are my pair, for better or for worse, and I’m not giving up on you. Your wing will heal. You will fly again. I believe in you.

Cedric held her wing with his good wing. I love you Hilda. You are perfect. And I will get better because you give me the strength.

So the wedding will be when you are ready.

The day after tomorrow, Just give me a day to get ready, replied Hilda eagerly and she flew off to finalise plans.

When she got back to her room, she found Master Beaky sitting outside. He was quiet and Hilda thought how sweet he looked. He looked up at her with his sad, black

eyes. Hilda, he squawked, Can I be your Page Bird? Oh, said Hilda taken aback. Well, yes! Of course you can, she said, melting. But you must promise to be a good little bird. I will! said Master Beaky excitedly. He had never been called a good bird before. He was usually called a Little Wretch, A Little Horror, A Little Scallywag, A Little Rascal but never a good bird. He liked it!

Well, your job will be to hold up my train as I walk down the aisle. Ooh a Train! Master Beaky was even more excited. Choo Choo!

Well, actually I didn’t mean a real … oh never mind. We’ll practice. Hilda said already regretting her kindness.

Hilda went into her room and picked up the phone. Goosey? I need your help. The wedding is the day after tomorrow!

Goosey was round in a flash. Right, let’s get this list ticked off:

Dress – to do

Venue – still a building site

Ceremony – no transport to the island

Cake – to make

Flowers – not picked

Photographer – none

Band for the evening – still coughing …

Goosey and Hilda looked at each other anxiously.

Oh dear- Basil had flown on to the window sill – sounds like mission impossible.

Can’t be done, said Doris who had joined Basil on the window sill.

Not a cat in hell’s chance, said Horace.

Hilda sighed, They’re right Goosey, we’ll never be ready.

Yes you will! A voice squawked loudly as the door flew open. Leave the arrangements to Beaky’s Budget Weddings though in this case it will be Beaky’s Next Day Nuptials. Price reflects the emergency situation of course. Hilda was so relieved that it might be done that she rashly agreed to pay anything and Captain Beaky went down to the bar to ponder how he actually could do all this in a day.

Basil shook his head, tut, tut Prepare for bankruptcy, Hilda. But she had already gone off to find Penny Guin.

Penny can you make an ice sculpture table decoration for my wedding the day after tomorrow? Penny’s crest stood up. Just something simple like a flock of Swans flying over a fairy tale castle? Penny’s crest fell. I’ll try Hilda but would it be ok if it turned into a Snowman? Hilda looked confused. Why a Snowman? Oh never mind, yes alright anything, thank you and she rushed off to find Maggie Pie. Maggie, the hotel Chef was in the kitchen making a Bird’s nest soup for dinner, Hello Hilda she yelled. Maggie, can you make a wedding cake for the day after tomorrow please? I know it’s a big ask. Hilda looked so desperate that Maggie thought she better not say no. Challenge accepted she yelled and they gave each other a high feather five.

Now the dress, thought Hilda. She descended the stairs of the Hotel into the basement. It was dark and damp and Hilda felt a bit nervous. A few Glow worms gave just enough light to see. Hello? Ida? It’s Hilda.

Ida Spider scuttled out from behind the curtain. Don’t move Hilda, I’m on the floor in front of you. Don’t step on me!

Oh Ida, no I’ll keep still, come on up so I can see you. Ida climbed up Hilda’s wing. Ooh that tickles laughed Hilda.

Well, what brings you down here? Asked Ida.

I’m getting married to Cedric the day after tomorrow and I wondered if you and the cluster could spin me up a dress?

Ida thought about it, Hmmm. That’s probably impossible Hilda but here at Webbed Wonders Tailoring, we provide a 24 hr service unmatched anywhere in the World so let’s measure you up. Hmmm. Ida pondered for a moment. I don’t think a dress would be a good idea though, no offence but your big webbed feet would almost certainly trip up in it – but we can make you a spectacular veil! Oh Ida, said Hilda Yes, that’s just what I want! Thank you so much. She lowered her wing for Ida to climb down and hurried away just turning to say, could it have some morning Dew drop jewels on it please? We’ll see, replied Ida smiling, and the Spiders began spinning.

What else is on the list? Photographer, Jack Daw happened to be passing by so Hilda grabbed him. Jack, will you be my wedding photographer the day after tomorrow please? Jack just stared back, But I’m not a photographer and I haven’t got a camera, he finally stuttered. Well get one! Hissed Hilda in his face. It wasn’t a day to say No to Hilda!

Next: The Ceremony. On the Island. How do we get there? Her heart sank. It will have to be that old wreck the Lagooner Schooner. She made a note Ask Captain Beaky. Tick

Next. The Reception. The Hotel is a building site , she looked around, but the garden is perfect! An outdoor wedding! Tick.

Flowers: 2 bouquets for Goosey and myself and a flower each for Master Beaky and Cedric. She remembered that there was a huge display of flowers in Reception. Tick.

The Band: She followed the sound of quacking coming from the Games Room where the Mallards Band were practicing. Could you play for my wedding the day after tomorrow please? Hilda asked.

Well, we’re fully booked this week, sorry, Molly Mallard quacked. Hilda had to think quickly.

I can get hold of Danny’s Duck Pellets, Hilda tempted,

Danny’s Duck pellets! They all quacked in unison, they’re the best! It was too much, We’ll do it! they quacked harmoniously. Tick.

It was the last item. Hilda waddled back to her room exhausted but happy that her wedding day was going to be the best day of her life.

You know Hilda, I’ve been thinking. I had a lucky escape and for some reason, I’m alive and now I know that the reason is you. I have a new perspective on life. It can be cut short in an instant, it’s fragile, tenuous, frangible. Hilda wondered what those words meant but she nodded. Cedric continued, We mustn’t waste a precious second which brings me to the point.

Thank goodness for that, cheeped Basil who was listening in from a nearby bush.

Excuse me! Hilda turned to where the voice was coming from, This is a private conversation!

Go on Cedric.

Let’s get married tomorrow! He announced.

A gasp was heard in the bush. Hilda didn’t know whether to jump for joy or cry. Her mind flooded with thoughts. What about the plans? What would she wear? What about the photos? Cedric had a broken wing and it would look awful.

Cedric saw her look of panic. I’m sorry, this is all too sudden for you, he said, and anyway, perhaps there’s something we should talk about first: my broken wing. If I can’t fly, I can’t be a good mate. I couldn’t protect our cygnets. I couldn’t defend our nest and territory. In fact I’d be useless. So maybe it’s better if I just set you free.

That went downhill fast, said Basil.

It was a bit much for Hilda- the wedding was on tomorrow and now it’s off all together!

You don’t want to marry a Dud Hilda. Basil called out.

Are you still here? hissed Hilda.

Just leaving, Basil flew out from the bush.

Cedric, I don’t have to think about this. Last night you protected me, laid down your life for me and I would do the same for you. Yes you’re right, I should think about those things but I love you and my heart says that you are my pair, for better or for worse, and I’m not giving up on you. Your wing will heal. You will fly again. I believe in you.

Cedric held her wing with his good wing. I love you Hilda. You are perfect. And I will get better because you give me the strength.

So the wedding will be when you are ready.

The day after tomorrow, Just give me a day to get ready, replied Hilda eagerly and she flew off to finalise plans.

When she got back to her room, she found Master Beaky sitting outside. He was quiet and Hilda thought how sweet he looked. He looked up at her with his sad, black

eyes. Hilda, he squawked, Can I be your Page Bird? Oh, said Hilda taken aback. Well, yes! Of course you can, she said, melting. But you must promise to be a good little bird. I will! said Master Beaky excitedly. He had never been called a good bird before. He was usually called a Little Wretch, A Little Horror, A Little Scallywag, A Little Rascal but never a good bird. He liked it!

Well, your job will be to hold up my train as I walk down the aisle. Ooh a Train! Master Beaky was even more excited. Choo Choo!

Well, actually I didn’t mean a real … oh never mind. We’ll practice. Hilda said already regretting her kindness.

Hilda went into her room and picked up the phone. Goosey? I need your help. The wedding is the day after tomorrow!

Goosey was round in a flash. Right, let’s get this list ticked off:

Dress – to do

Venue – still a building site

Ceremony – no transport to the island

Cake – to make

Flowers – not picked

Photographer – none

Band for the evening – still coughing …

Goosey and Hilda looked at each other anxiously.

Oh dear- Basil had flown on to the window sill – sounds like mission impossible.

Can’t be done, said Doris who had joined Basil on the window sill.

Not a cat in hell’s chance, said Horace.

Hilda sighed, They’re right Goosey, we’ll never be ready.

Yes you will! A voice squawked loudly as the door flew open. Leave the arrangements to Beaky’s Budget Weddings though in this case it will be Beaky’s Next Day Nuptials. Price reflects the emergency situation of course. Hilda was so relieved that it might be done that she rashly agreed to pay anything and Captain Beaky went down to the bar to ponder how he actually could do all this in a day.

Basil shook his head, tut, tut Prepare for bankruptcy, Hilda. But she had already gone off to find Penny Guin.

Penny can you make an ice sculpture table decoration for my wedding the day after tomorrow? Penny’s crest stood up. Just something simple like a flock of Swans flying over a fairy tale castle? Penny’s crest fell. I’ll try Hilda but would it be ok if it turned into a Snowman? Hilda looked confused. Why a Snowman? Oh never mind, yes alright anything, thank you and she rushed off to find Maggie Pie. Maggie, the hotel Chef was in the kitchen making a Bird’s nest soup for dinner, Hello Hilda she yelled. Maggie, can you make a wedding cake for the day after tomorrow please? I know it’s a big ask. Hilda looked so desperate that Maggie thought she better not say no. Challenge accepted she yelled and they gave each other a high feather five.

Now the dress, thought Hilda. She descended the stairs of the Hotel into the basement. It was dark and damp and Hilda felt a bit nervous. A few Glow worms gave just enough light to see. Hello? Ida? It’s Hilda.

Ida Spider scuttled out from behind the curtain. Don’t move Hilda, I’m on the floor in front of you. Don’t step on me!

Oh Ida, no I’ll keep still, come on up so I can see you. Ida climbed up Hilda’s wing. Ooh that tickles laughed Hilda.

Well, what brings you down here? Asked Ida.

I’m getting married to Cedric the day after tomorrow and I wondered if you and the cluster could spin me up a dress?

Ida thought about it, Hmmm. That’s probably impossible Hilda but here at Webbed Wonders Tailoring, we provide a 24 hr service unmatched anywhere in the World so let’s measure you up. Hmmm. Ida pondered for a moment. I don’t think a dress would be a good idea though, no offence but your big webbed feet would almost certainly trip up in it – but we can make you a spectacular veil! Oh Ida, said Hilda Yes, that’s just what I want! Thank you so much. She lowered her wing for Ida to climb down and hurried away just turning to say, could it have some morning Dew drop jewels on it please? We’ll see, replied Ida smiling, and the Spiders began spinning.

What else is on the list? Photographer, Jack Daw happened to be passing by so Hilda grabbed him. Jack, will you be my wedding photographer the day after tomorrow please? Jack just stared back, But I’m not a photographer and I haven’t got a camera, he finally stuttered. Well get one! Hissed Hilda in his face. It wasn’t a day to say No to Hilda!

Next: The Ceremony. On the Island. How do we get there? Her heart sank. It will have to be that old wreck the Lagooner Schooner. She made a note Ask Captain Beaky. Tick

Next. The Reception. The Hotel is a building site , she looked around, but the garden is perfect! An outdoor wedding! Tick.

Flowers: 2 bouquets for Goosey and myself and a flower each for Master Beaky and Cedric. She remembered that there was a huge display of flowers in Reception. Tick.

The Band: She followed the sound of quacking coming from the Games Room where the Mallards Band were practicing. Could you play for my wedding the day after tomorrow please? Hilda asked.

Well, we’re fully booked this week, sorry, Molly Mallard quacked. Hilda had to think quickly.

I can get hold of Danny’s Duck Pellets, Hilda tempted,

Danny’s Duck pellets! They all quacked in unison, they’re the best! It was too much, We’ll do it! they quacked harmoniously. Tick.

It was the last item. Hilda waddled back to her room exhausted but happy that her wedding day was going to be the best day of her life.

22nd February 2024 – Hotel Swan. The Wedding Day.

Hilda woke up and her first thoughts were – is it a sunny day for my wedding? She threw back the curtains. Oh no! Look at those black clouds! she said in disappointment. Doris fluttered on to the window sill. I reckon it will be raining by lunchtime Hilda. Bad luck. Anyway I’ve got something to cheer you up. It’s a present from Cedric.

You shouldn’t open my post Doris.

Just had a peek Hilda. No need to get shirty.

Hilda snatched the small packet off Doris and sat down on her bed. Oh how romantic Doris. It’s a gift for my wedding day. She ripped the paper off and opened a small box. Inside was a necklace with two Swans forming a heart shape. Oh, Doris, look, it’s beautiful! It is, replied Doris, You must wear it today for your wedding.

There’s a note too. said Hilda.

For my darling Hilda on our wedding day. Two Swans, forever a pair, our lives to share. Cedric.

Oh he’s so romantic Doris!

Brought a tear to my eye, said Doris

And mine, said Horace who had joined her on the sill.

It’s a bit soppy, cheeped Basil who had also landed on the sill.

Well why have you got a tear in your eye Basil? noticed Doris.

Just a bit of dust, he said wiping his eye with his wing.

Should I send him a poem Doris, to thank him?

Before Doris could persuade her not to, Hilda had written a note-

Thank you for the necklace

I’ll wear it every day

Cos you’re my pair

And I love you.

Hurry, Doris, take this to Cedric, he loves rhyming poetry. They flew off discussing whether or not to say it blew away in the wind.

There was a knock on the door, Hilda opened it and shrieked! Mabel! You’re here!

It was Hilda’s sister. They threw their wings round each other.

I’m sorry I couldn’t come sooner, Mabel said, It’s been so difficult trying to get rid of the cygnets. I’ve been chasing them for a week now but they just keep hanging around. Harold says I’m not strict enough and that I should sit on them but I can’t bear to hear them squeaking .

You’ve got all this to come Hilda. They’re so cute at first when they’re grey and fluffy but then they grow up and eat you out of house and home!

There was a soft tapping at the door. Hilda opened it but couldn’t see anyone but she heard a small voice – Hilda, don’t step forward, Its Ida, I’ve brought your veil. Oh Ida, come in! This is my sister, Mabel. Ida scurried past them followed by the cluster carrying Hilda’s veil.

Hilda and Mabel picked up the veil and opened it out. It was breathtaking. An intricate web had been woven with a rose in the centre and morning dew jewels glistened on the web. Hilda and Mabel cried, Horace, Doris and Basil cried. Goosey, arrived and cried. The floor was getting wet. Stop crying! shouted Ida as loudly as she could, we’re going to drown!

They all stopped. Sorry, Ida. We’re just so overwhelmed by the beauty of the veil. I can’t thank you and the cluster enough.

You’re welcome Hilda. It was our pleasure and I must say, it’s probably our finest work! she said proudly.

Well please stay, said Hilda, the wedding is this afternoon and you are all invited of course. The Spiders scuttled across the floor to rest in the nooks and crannies of the room.

Try it on Hilda, said Goosey.

Yes good idea, and I must find Master Beaky so he can practice holding it. Master Beaky was in the garden looking for left over chips on the tables. Hilda called him to come to her room for a practice with the veil.

All you have to do is pick up the edge very carefully with your beak and hold it up whilst I walk down the aisle. Ok Hilda, said Master Beaky and he turned round and unfortunately pooped on the veil.

Everyone froze in horror. No! shrieked Hilda. What have you done?! It’s ruined. What have you been eating? It’s red! It will never come out! Chips with tomato sauce, admitted Master Beaky. Sorry Hilda, I suppose I’m a little horror now. He began to cry. Oh, don’t cry, Hilda softened. No, you’re not. It was an accident. Mabel stepped in. Leave it to me. I’ll take it down to the lagoon and wash it off.

Thank you Mabel. said Hilda but she doubted that the stain would disappear.

Hilda sat down at her dressing table and looked closely in the mirror. Oh, my black eye has virtually disappeared! It must have been that potion of Arnica that you made Mabel- it’s worked a treat! She carried on preening her feathers and Mabel positioned a crown of Daisies on her head and fastened the necklace that Cedric had given her around her neck. There, Mabel stepped back, you look like a fairy tale Princess.

You’re the most beautiful Bride I’ve ever seen, said Penny

You scrub up pretty good, said Doris.

You do, agreed Horace

They all cried. Thank you my dear friends, said Hilda, I couldn’t have got here without your help. They all cried again. Now let’s go and they made their way to the garden.

Cedric, Captain Beaky, Basil and Master Beaky were also getting ready. They all had an orange calendula flower to wear to match the orange bill of a Swan. After hours of intensive preening, Cedric announced, Right then, We’re ready!

Ready to get hitched to the trouble and strife Cedric? Basil jibed.

Ha ha very funny Basil, Cedric retorted, Wait, there’s one more thing. Captain Beaky, have you got the ring?

Captain Beaky felt round all his feathers, It’s here somewhere. I checked. He felt round again. Cedric stared at him and started to worry.

Ah, here it is! Captain Beaky pulled it out from under his tail.

Urgh! said Cedric, you better clean it up before I put it on Hilda’s feather.

They made their way down to the garden. On the way, Captain Beaky was busy cleaning the ring with some spit and feathers but it was fiddly and he was clumsy and it popped out of his grasp, rolling away out of sight.

Cedric was furious, For goodness sake, can’t you get anything right?! Captain Beaky was going to defend himself but thought there was probably quite a lot of truth in that.

Maggie Pie was sitting in a nearby tree watching the whole fiasco. She knew exactly where the ring had rolled with her extraordinary vision for shiny things. She swooped down and picked it out of from the twigs in a bush and decided it was safer to give it to Basil. Keep it safe Basil, she squawked, only give it to Captain Beaky just before the ceremony! Thank you Maggie, called out Cedric, see you at the wedding. They hurried on to the garden.

24th February 2024 -The Wedding Day concludes.

Cedric, Captain Beaky, John Swan Trump and Basil arrived at the garden by the lagoon bank. Shouldn’t the Lagooner Schooner be here to take us to the island Beaky? asked Cedric. Captain Beaky spotted it first, Slight problem Cedric old boy. Seems to have sunk. he said .They watched as the top of the mast disappeared under the water. Why didn’t I know better than to think that an old wreck like that could actually float. Cedric sighed with exasperation. Now my wedding is ruined. Hilda will be heartbroken. You better fix this and fast! He stormed off leaving Captain Beaky to work out how he was going to get out of this mess. Penny Guin and her team were arriving in the garden with everything for the wedding ready to load on to the Lagooner Schooner. It sank, announced Captain Beaky to Penny. You’re sunk, Basil chipped in.

Well, I won’t let Hilda down, Penny said with determination, And neither will you! We’ll set up the wedding here in the garden and it will be the wedding of the year! Her Crest waved about dangerously so Captain Beaky thought it best to agree. Aye aye, ma’am! he saluted. Everyone pitched in to help and by mid day a magical, fairytale setting had been created for the wedding by all the friends. The sun came out just in time.

Cedric stood under an archway of wild roses waiting for Hilda to arrive. John Swan Trump stood near by clearing his throat. Captain Beaky in full Admiralty uniform stood next to Cedric. Other guests were assembling. This is your last chance to escape, whispered Basil who was perched on the arch.

I don’t want to escape Basil. I can’t wait to be a pair with Hilda, replied Cedric.

Hilda arrived in the garden. Where’s the Lagooner Schooner? Doris replied. It sank Hilda but wait til you see the rest of the garden. It’s much better than that scrubby old island!

As they came through the trees, Hilda saw the fairytale setting for her wedding. Oh! It’s so beautiful! she cried.

Just then Maggie Pie gave a nod to John and he trumpeted the arrival of the Bride. The Mallards band played the theme from Swan Lake as best they could without being a full orchestra. Molly played the melody on her xylophone which somehow managed to sound quite magical.

A radiant Hilda walked down the pathway made by the guests as they threw petals over her. Mabel followed Hilda and Master Beaky held up the train though he tripped up several times and finally Basil had to fly to the rescue to help Master Beaky hold up the long, flowing, veil. Guests shed a few tears as she passed them, she was so beautiful and serene and Cedric was transfixed as she walked towards him. When she arrived by his side, he lifted up her veil and looked into her eyes.

You are a vision of beauty Hilda, he said, I’m a lucky Swan. Hilda smiled, she daren’t speak because she was too full of emotion.

Cedric took her wing with his good wing and spoke first:

Hilda, I promise to love you to the end of my days, I will care for you and protect you in the sun and in the rain. I will respect you and be true only to you. My heart is yours for all eternity. Hilda, will you be my pair?

Holding back her tears of joy, Hilda only just managed to say, I will.

Captain Beaky fumbled about in his feathers but finally handed Cedric a ring which he placed on her leg.

Hilda took a breath,

Cedric, I will love you forever and ever. I will be by your side when you need me and when you don’t. I will be true only to you and I promise that every day of our lives will be filled with happiness. And if any other Swan dares to come between us I’ll busk them out of the water. Cedric, will you be my pair?

Cedric tried to keep a straight face,

Yes Hilda, my darling, feisty, funny Swan, I will. More fumbling about by Captain Beaky until Maggie Pie flew over and picked up the other ring that he had dropped. She gave it to Hilda who placed it on Cedric’s leg. They gazed, lovingly into each other’s eyes.

Well, well, isn’t this just so sweet!

a sarcastic voice interrupted the ceremony. Everyone turned to see who it was.

Such a shame that I’ve got to spoil the happy scene with some bad news. Nobby continued. Seems that Prince Cedric has got to marry a Princess. He can’t marry you Hilda. You’re just a common river Swan, far too lowly for his Royal Highness.

Don’t listen, Cedric said to Hilda, I’ll take care of this.

Nobby and Cedric walked towards each other. At last, said Nobby, our final fight. You didn’t expect your wedding day to be your last did you?!

Another voice rose out from the guests. Not so fast boy. A huge Swan stepped out into the path of the approaching Nobby.

King Olor! gasped Nobby backing off.

Father! exclaimed Cedric in surprise.

Hope I’m not too late for the wedding son.

I didn’t think you would come. Cedric replied. I didn’t think you would accept Hilda into the family.

The King sighed. There was a time when I thought that we had a duty to preserve our Royal blood line. We are noble Swans of the Lake and Hilda is a river Swan. But since I lost your Mother, I have come to understand that Love is precious and that being true to your heart is the true, noble way of Swans. I have come to bless your pairing with Hilda who, from today and forthwith, will be known as Princess Hilda.

Cedric embraced him, Thank you Father.

John Swan Trump trumpeted a fanfare and Captain Beaky announced, Friends gathered here today, I give you Prince Cedric and Princess Hilda who are now officially a Pair. They turned heads together.

Now let’s celebrate this happy occasion at the buffet. Everyone rushed to the tables to get there before Captain and Master Beaky. They had learned their lesson before! Maggie Pie and Penny Guin had done them proud with a fine spread and an ice sculpture centre piece of a whole Polar Bear family. The cake had 3 tiers of different coloured weed and was filled Danny’s finest pellets. Two Swans forming a heart shape had been carved out of a corn on the cob to decorate the top. Cedric and Hilda thanked all the friends profusely for all their hard work to make their wedding day so perfect.

They ate, drank and danced to the Mallard’s Band, long into the night

and as the sun rose, Hilda and Cedric slipped away to go on their Honeymoon.

25th February 2024 – The Honeymoon.

High up in the sky, Cedric and Hilda flew wing to wing. Stay close Hilda we’ve got a long way to go.

Where are we going? asked Hilda

It’s a secret! Cedric replied, but you’re going to love it.

Hilda was excited but a bit nervous. She had only flown short distances from the lagoon and mainly stayed on water and land. Here, just below the clouds, she looked down on a miniature world of trees and fields, houses and roads. As they flew further, the landscape changed, hills appeared and lakes. Are we nearly there? Hilda asked, I’m getting tired Cedric. Yes it’s not far now, replied Cedric, use my slipstream it will be easier for you. She moved behind Cedric and felt the pull of air that he had created. That’s better, thank you Cedric.

They flew on until Cedric called out, This is it Hilda, look! Hilda looked below, she saw a beautiful lake surrounded by trees and rocks and she could see a waterfall tumbling into the water. Oh Cedric she gasped, it’s so beautiful!

I knew you would love it Hilda. This is going to be where we will spend our honeymoon, just you and I.

Now we must fly down and land on the lake. Follow me and stay close, we have to be careful because there are black lines.

What are they? Asked Hilda.

They’re lines that burn you if you touch them. They can even kill you.

Hilda was alarmed. That’s so scary Cedric! You’re going to be fine Hilda, I won’t let any harm come to you but you must follow me and go exactly where I go. They began their descent, flying slowly. Cedric manoeuvred confidently over the power cables and Hilda followed knowing that she must be brave even though the cables were close. Cedric glided down with wings outstretched dropping towards the lake with Hilda flowing close behind. Prepare for landing Hilda! Cedric laughed. They both positioned their feet out ready and Splash! They hit the water. Hilda didn’t make the most elegant landing, she hadn’t slowed down enough, she flapped her wings and tried to stop and had to roll a few times to regain composure. Cedric laughed and picked the weed off her head. We’ll have to travel some more Hilda, you need some practice! Hilda laughed too, I think you’re a show off!, she teased. Race you to the waterfall! and she paddled furiously off.

Cedric paddled powerfully but let her win and they played in the cascading water dodging in and out and behind the falls. They were so happy. They climbed up on the bank and rested together, occasionally nibbling the sweet fresh grass and before long, happy and contented, they had fallen asleep.

The sun was setting and it was getting dark, Hilda woke up. Cedric, wake up we’ve been asleep for hours! Cedric opened his eyes. We needed that nap Hilda after flying all this way. I’ll just have another 5 minutes he said sleepily and he closed his eyes again. Hilda looked round and thought how peaceful and beautiful it was here. Just then she noticed something moving in the bushes, Cedric! She prodded him with her bill, we’re not alone, there’s something moving in the bushes! Cedric opened his eyes, It’s probably some Rabbits don’t worry. But then he heard growling. Or maybe … it’s Wolves, he sounded more concerned.

Wolves!! Hilda panicked. Let’s run! No, Cedric said firmly, That’s the worst thing we can do. We’ll stand our ground and frighten them away. How? said Hilda incredulously, They’re Wolves!

They’re just Dogs .. but with sharp, killer teeth.

That’s not helping Cedric. said Hilda desperately.

No, listen, we can scare Dogs by hissing at them. They hate it. And Wolves are Dogs… more or less. It’s all we’ve got Hilda.

By now, two Wolves had appeared and were prowling towards them, snarling and bearing their teeth.

After 3, Hilda, Hiss as loudly as you can, said Cedric, 1,2,3 ……. They hissed with all their might raising their wings and towering above the Wolves.

But the Wolves just rolled on the ground laughing. Got you! One said in a gruff voice. And one by one, Captain Beaky, Master Beaky, John Swan- Trump, Penny Guin, Goosey , Horace, Doris and Basil popped out of the bushes. They all laughed. You should have seen your faces! Cheeped Basil. Fell for it hook, line and sinker!

Hilda was the first to speak. Where have you all come from?! She said in disbelief. How did you find us? And why have you followed us on our Honeymoon? This is supposed to be a romantic few days, just Cedric and I!

Just pure coincidence Hilda, lied Captain Beaky. We wanted a little holiday and chose the same place! Who’d have thought?

Small world, said Doris

Tiny, said Horace.

But how did you get here? Hilda was incredulous. Beaky’s Budget Bus , replied Captain Beaky.

Except that it broke down as soon as we left the Hotel. explained Doris. We had to be towed here by Gull-ible Breakdown Service. But that broke down too. In the end Albert- Tross gave us a lift.

Oh well, you’re here now but don’t follow us around. Hilda hissed. Come on Cedric, let’s find somewhere else to camp.

Well, just before you go, said Penny Guin, I brought a romantic picnic for two. It’s for you and Cedric. She put a blanket on the ground and laid out a spread of delicious dishes. There you are. We’ll be off now, leave you two love birds in peace . They started to walk away.

Wait, said Hilda softening, That’s so kind and thoughtful, thank you Penny. Hilda looked at Cedric and he nodded, he knew what she was thinking. Look, you might as well all stay now you’re here and before she had hardly finished speaking they had made themselves at home and were diving into the picnic! But you have to go and find somewhere else to sleep when Ollie Owl starts hooting, because this is our honeymoon!

Why’s that? asked Master Beaky. I’ll tell you when you’re a bit older son, replied Captain Beaky and everyone laughed.

29th February 2024 – The Honeymoon Adventure.

Hilda woke up to the sweet sound of a Lark singing in a nearby tree. The pitch black of night was fading into daylight as the sun rose.

I hardly slept a wink, said Hilda prodding Cedric. Did you hear all that rustling in the bushes? I think it was a Fox. Cedric opened one eye, It’s early Hilda, go back to sleep. He closed his eye. I can’t go back to sleep now I’m awake, she said prodding him. Well I’m awake now now too, Cedric lifted his head from under his wing.

Could you two be quiet please, I’m trying to sleep, cheeped a voice from the tree they were sleeping underneath. Basil! Exclaimed Hilda, Have you been there all night? I told you all to find somewhere else to camp. This is our Honeymoon and we would appreciate some privacy!

We all went over there to camp, Basil pointed to a clearing nearby. But Captain Beaky snores so loudly I had to move.

Me too, said Horace waking up on the same branch

I thought it was thunder, said Doris.

Penny Guin popped out from behind the tree. None of us slept, except Captain Beaky. We’ll have to wear ear plugs tonight, said Penny sleepily, her Crest had a bed head look about it and some twigs were caught in it. Well, I don’t know how, but I better get breakfast ready, she yawned.

What’s for breakfast Penny? The two Wolves were standing on a rock above the camp. I fancy Wildfowl with a slice of toast. They looked at Hilda and started licking their lips and drooling. Oh Cedric! They want to eat us!

Only joking, they laughed. Hilda wasn’t sure.

Breakfast is going to be scrambled eggs, announced Penny, Goosey has just laid a beauty! Goosey stood up from the grass and she had indeed laid a massive egg.

Well that’s kind of you Goosey, said Hilda, but we’re vegetarians so we’re just going to have wheat flakes. And after breakfast, Cedric and I are going out…. on our own. Please don’t follow us.

Where are we going Hilda? Cedric asked quietly.

We’re going to hike up that mountain, she replied.

They looked towards where she was indicating. A huge mountain with a snowy peak, was looming in the distance beyond the forest.

Captain Beaky approached, Well what a coincidence! Beaky’s Budget Hiking Tours offer a special trip up the mountain today. Picnic lunch included in the price.

By now the rest of the group had assembled ready for the trip in their hiking boots and were settling down for breakfast.

I give up, Cedric. Whispered Hilda, We’re doomed to share our Honeymoon with this mob!

Maybe we could lose them Hilda. Slip off when they’re not looking.

Good idea, Hilda agreed. Right, time to make our escape.

Cedric stood up, Well we’ll just go and clean our teeth then we’ll be ready for the hike, he announced to the group who were finishing breakfast.

You haven’t got teeth, said Basil suspiciously.

He meant, clean our Bills, Hilda explained. They hurried off before anyone could ask any more difficult questions.

Hmmm, I think they’re sneaking off without us, said Basil.

It is their Honeymoon, said Penny sympathetically.

Rubbish, said Captain Beaky, this is a Health and Safety Issue. Always hike in a group. Safety in numbers. Health and Safety?! Cheeped Horace, That’s rich coming from you Captain Beaky with your track record! More like D and D, Danger and Disaster!

Hurry up, instructed Captain Beaky, we don’t want them to get too far in front but keep a distance, we don’t want them to know we’re following them either.

Hilda and Cedric walked through the forest. Do you feel like we’re being followed? Hilda asked Cedric.

She kept looking behind but the friends dodged behind the trees.

No it’s just your imagination Hilda.

I think they got the message that we want to be on our own.

Hilda wasn’t so sure.

Eventually they came to the edge of the woods at the foot of the Mountain. It rose before them, gigantic, imposing and forbidding.

Cedric, I don’t think this is a good idea! We need to be goats to climb that not Swans.

Come on Hilda, we can do it, said Cedric confidently, it’s a challenge! An adventure! We’ll look back when we’re old and tell our Cygnets that we climbed a mountain together on our honeymoon.

Can we cheat and fly up there? Hilda said, No one will know.

No! Cedric replied sternly now let’s go. We need to get there and back before nightfall.

They began climbing.

The friends had reached the foot of the mountain and were looking up in astonishment. It’s impossible, Penny said and her Crest fell.

Well they might be mad enough to try it but I’m staying here in this tree, decided Basil. So are we, Horace and Doris joined him.

Well, I’m going, said Goosey, Hilda is my best friend and she might need my help. We’ve always been there for each other.

Just one moment, said Captain Beaky, Why climb when you can ride in the luxury of Beaky’s Budget Bird- Chair Lifts? Special offer on a group ticket. Single or return.

Who would want a single? Penny pointed out.

Well, if you’re sure it’s safe, said Goosey, I think it’s a good idea.

Captain Beaky took them to where his Bird chair lift was stationed.

Looks like it needs a service, Beaky old boy, suggested John Swan Trump.

That’s an understatement, said Penny, I think I’ll walk,

So will I, agreed Goosey.

It’s perfectly safe Ladies, Captain Beaky reassured them. It only recently had a full service with Gull – ible Mechanics.

Looking at the size of the Mountain in front of them, they decided that the Bird Chair lift was marginally the lesser of the two evils so they hopped aboard.

Further up the mountain, Hilda and Cedric stopped for a rest. Look at the view, Hilda, you can see for miles! It’s Breathtaking, agreed Hilda. I feel like there’s only you and I in the whole world.

They sat together in silence, at one with nature. Time stood still.

They didn’t notice the ominous mist that was rolling in towards them. I could stay here with you forever Hilda but we better start heading back before it gets dark. Cedric offered his wing to Hilda and helped her up. This has been such a perfect day Cedric. I’ll never forget it.

As they began to descend, the mist swirled around them making visibility difficult. Are we going the right way? Asked Hilda. I think so, replied Cedric but he was realising that he had no idea where they were. They were lost.

They stopped for a moment. Cedric looked around trying to see through the mist and as it rolled by, he was horrified to see that they were standing on the edge of a precipice. Don’t move Hilda, he said calmly. Hold my wing.

Hilda, saw through the mist too. The tiny ledge that they were standing on and the massive, sheer drop below. Cedric! She cried out. We’re going to fall!

No, we’re going to stay very calm and wait to be rescued.

No one knows we’re here Cedric. We’re going to die.

Hilda, you’re not going to die, if this ledge gives way, you’re going to fly.

Yes, I’ll fly Cedric said Hilda shaking with fear, but only with you. I can’t live without you. Tears filled Hilda’s eyes.

Of course I’m going to fly with you, Cedric reassured her. But it’s dangerous near these rocks so let’s wait a bit longer. We might be seen and rescued.

Cedric, I can hear something… Listen.

They both fell silent and listened. A strange squeaking, noise drifted towards them. Then out of the mist, Beaky’s rusty old Bird Chair lift appeared, swaying and waving about in the wind.

Captain Beaky waved, Ahoy there Hilda and Cedric! Need a lift?

I’ve never been so glad to see anyone in my life, said Hilda crying with relief.

I must admit, we’re in a bit of a fix Beaky, Cedric added.

Well hop on board and we’ll sort out payment back at the camp. Emergency Rescue Call Out is costly I’m afraid.

We’ll pay anything Captain Beaky, said Hilda, just please get us off this ledge before we fall!

They scrambled on to the lift which creaked and groaned.

I think we’ve exceeded the maximum load, Beaky, said John Swan Trump. And with that a cable snapped and the lift swung to one side.

There was shouting and screaming as everyone held on to whatever they could grab and the lift descended rapidly down the mountain side. Hold tight, shouted Captain Beaky, we could be in for a bumpy landing.

Everyone closed their eyes except for Hilda who said to Cedric, I love you. And I love you too, Hilda. They held each other tightly.

The lift crashed through the roof of an old barn and everyone scattered into the hay. There were a few moments of silence, a few coughs, then one by one they gradually popped up spitting out pieces of straw. Captain Beaky spoke first.

Well, that was exciting. I think we’ll all look back and see how funny this was!

Well miraculously, it looks like everyone’s ok, said Penny. But it’s no thanks to you Captain Beaky! Her Crest waved about dangerously and looked twice the size filled with straw. Captain Beaky backed away, Well no harm done and I’d like to offer a lift back to camp on Beaky’s Budget Tractor, reduced ticket price as the hiking tour didn’t quite go to plan.

Oh shut up Beaky, Penny pushed by him and they all piled on to the muddy tractor.

Hang on, where’s Hilda and Cedric? Captain Beaky asked.

Drive on Beaky, I think it’s time for us to leave them in peace, replied Penny.

As the tractor pulled away, Hilda and Cedric popped up from under the straw. Alone at last Hilda! That took some doing Cedric! What a day?! They both laughed.

12th March 2024

Hilda was up early swimming about the lagoon looking for a suitable nest site. She visited the island and pulled the scrub about. Hmm! It would be safe here but it’s so windy! Cedric arrived, Hilda, is this the place? he asked

I don’t know, she replied, It’s exposed and I’ll get so cold sitting here for six weeks. Let’s go and look at the bank over there. They swam across the lagoon and climbed onto the bank.

It’s nice and sheltered here Hilda. Cedric said pulling up some grass. Yes, I can build a huge designer nest with direct lagoon access and stunning views.

Oh yes Cedric, Hilda said excitedly, this is perfect but can we afford it?

Well, I’m going to build it myself so that will save a lot. Cedric replied. And I’ll help, said Hilda. I’ve got an eye for design, everyone says how stylish I am.

Morning Hilda and Cedric, Captain Beaky swam up to them, Couldn’t help overhearing you mentioning a new nest build. Well it’s your lucky day! I can highly recommend Beaky’s Bespoke Builds for all your nest building requirements and if you sign up today, I can throw in some free insulation.

It’s kind of you to offer Captain Beaky, said Hilda, but Cedric and I want to build it ourselves. And I’m supplying the finest Swan Down for insulation. And it’s free!

Dodgey, replied Captain Beaky shaking his beak, No experience, No plans. No surveys. No contacts in the trade. Those big Swan eggs will be sinking to the bottom of the lagoon. Mark my words! And he turned his back on them flew off in a huff.

Oh Cedric, Do you think he’s right? Hilda was alarmed.

No of course not Hilda. We’re Swans. We build the biggest, best nests in the whole bird world! Except perhaps for a Bald Eagle.

Hilda was impressed at Cedric’s knowledge.

Come on Hilda, let’s get started. Cedric started pulling up grass and collecting leaves and twigs and Hilda placed them carefully around to form a nest. They worked for several hours and the nest grew larger and larger.

Out of the corner of his eye, Cedric noticed something moving. He stopped building and looked into the distance and his wings started to rise. I think we’re about to have a visitor Hilda, he said.

Oh no, cried Hilda, it’s Nobby! Please don’t provoke him Cedric. He’ll go away. He’s just come to taunt us.

Well I’ll have to busk for a bit or he’ll think he can drive us off the lagoon.

replied Cedric.

Just don’t fight! Hilda knew that it was dangerous but she also knew that Cedric was right.

Planning on sticking around boy? Nobby taunted. Pity that. This lagoon is only big enough for one pair. And that’s me and Bianca.

Cedric slipped into the water and was busking side by side with Nobby.

Oh I can’t look, said Goosey who had turned up to see Hilda’s new nest. She put her head under her wing, Tell me when it’s over.

I’m not looking either, said Hilda hiding her head under her wing too.

My money’s on Nobby, chipped in Basil from the bushes.

Bigger isn’t always quicker. said Hilda defensively without looking.

Place your bets here, called out Captain Beaky, 10/1 on Cedric winning. 50/1 on Nobby winning.

Oh shut up Beaky, this is serious. Hilda said in a muffled voice.

What’s happening Basil? Hilda was still hiding under her wing.

That’s disappointing, Basil cheeped. They’re drifting apart. I was looking forward to a good old fashioned bust up. Couple of wimps if you ask me. He flew off.

Oh thank goodness, said Hilda emerging from her feathers.

Nobby turned to Cedric, I’ll let you off today boy, too busy with my Bianca. Reckon she’ll be the new Queen of the lagoon now I’m King.

You’re not the King Nobby and you know it. You haven’t a drop of royal blood in your body, Cedric retorted.

They started to move in on each other again.

Nobby, called out Bianca in a high pitched squeaky voice, Come back,

you haven’t finished telling me that story about how you killed the Lagoon monster Messy with just one blow from your powerful wing.

I’ll be right there, Babe, Nobby replied in a strange American accent trying to show off.

Cedric couldn’t resist calling after him, Til next time Nobby, you monster killing hero! he said laughing as he returned to Hilda.

Hilda and Penny were gossiping about Bianca.

Did you see how pink her bill is? said Penny. Yes, replied Hilda, she’s not even mature. She won’t be able to lay as many eggs as me!

And that voice! She still squeaks like a cygnet.She can’t even grunt!

I wouldn’t worry about her Hilda. Reassured Penny.

Come on, ladies, said Cedric, let’s not stoop to their level. We must get on. We’ve got a designer nest to build.

She’s so young and pretty. And she’s got a lovely exotic name. I hope her nest sinks, Hilda said out loud though she meant to just think it.

They began clearing the nest site for their super, deluxe, dream nest.

15th March 2024 – Return from the honeymoon

Hilda and Cedric the Widewater Swans, return to Widewater after their latest adventures on their Honeymoon to build a nest as the Breeding Season begins. In reality, March is the time for the Swans to breed so keep an eye out for their beautiful mating ritual.

Cedric, Hilda said, I think we need to finish this nest quickly. I can add the finishing touches when I’m in it.

What’s the hurry? asked Cedric.

I can feel an egg coming, Hilda replied.

Oh, Cedric agreed , we better get on then!

They hurriedly added more foliage and twigs and the designer nest residence grew to an enormous size.

Is it big enough yet Hilda? asked Cedric.

Yes! Said Hilda looking across the lagoon to where Nobby and Bianca had built a nest . Now it’s bigger than theirs!

Hilda stood back and looked at her nest. It was a huge, messy, heap of twigs, leaves and grass. It’s big but it’s not quite as stylish as I’d hoped for Cedric, she said. Look at Bianca’s, it’s a beautiful, neat oval shape and it’s got a balcony! She’s even planted flowers all round it! Oh, and there’s a pool in the garden for her cygnets! Well I don’t like it. it’s flashy, just like her! All show. Wait til the first gale blows and it will fall apart and be washed away. Hilda turned her back on it.

It looks sturdy enough to me, said Cedric. But we have our own natural, cosy home filled with love Hilda. And by the sound of things we’ve built it just in time!

Yes, I better climb in. Hilda settled into the nest and began shedding down to make a soft lining. Cedric sat next to the nest. I’ll be here to guard you Hilda, he said. I’m so proud of you. They slept peacefully together in the sun.

A sudden noise woke them up.

Wakey, wakey! Called Penny. Look who I’ve brought to visit?!

Goosey, Doris, Mrs Beaky, Ida, Molly Mallard, Lil Egret, Lil Grebe, Maggie Pie and Hilda’s sister, Mabel were climbing up the bank to the nest.

Hilda, it’s your Cygnet shower! We’ve all come with presents for the new arrivals!

Cedric, stood up. Lovely to see you ladies but I’m off, no offence, but I’m sure you don’t need me here and I better go on patrol. He swam hastily away. Lucky escape Cedric , cheeped Basil. Fancy joining me at Captain Beaky’s new Bar on the Lagoon? He’s just opened it. Sounds good to me Basil, replied Cedric. They hurried away in search of Beaky’s Bar.

Come in girls, cried Hilda. This is such a wonderful surprise!

You’ve got to have a Cygnet shower Hilda, said Goosey, you’re going to need a few bits for the new arrivals.

I’ve brought you a dinky little feeding bowl with Chicks all round it, Goosey said proudly.

Oh it’s so sweet, thank you Goosey, Hilda said feeling a bit overwhelmed at her friends kindness.

I’ve brought a bag of baby chick crumb Hilda, said Mabel, it will help the little ones grow fast!

So thoughtful Mabel, said Hilda. Thank you.

One by one the friends laid their gifts around Hilda :

An ice sculpture of a teddy bear from Penny.

A bell from Mrs Beaky. Got it from Basil, she said, He had two!

A silver spoon from Maggie Pie, Spotted it on a cafe table, she said.

Lil Grebe brought a selection of coloured weed from the bottom of the lagoon. You can shred this up finely for them Hilda, she advised.

Lil Egret brought a fishing net, When the little ones get bigger I’ll take them pond dipping Hilda.

Ida and the Cluster followed behind. Make way girls and mind you don’t step on us, called Ida as loudly as she could. They opened out a beautiful, intricately woven web blanket that they had spun. It’s beautiful, cried Hilda, you are all so clever! Look at the little Cygnets around the edge and the Butterflies, and the Bees and the Ladybirds and the Suns and Moons and Stars! It’s wonderful. I can’t thank you enough. All of you. I’m so lucky to have such dear friends. Hilda felt a few tears roll down her bill and all the friends had a cry with her.

She looked across at Bianca sitting alone on her nest. I feel a bit sorry for her, Hilda said to her friends. She’s new. She doesn’t know anyone.

I know Hilda, said Mabel. But she’s your rival and it’s dangerous for your Cygnets if you lose sight of that. We Swans don’t share. Bianca and Nobby will chase your Cygnets and try to kill them if they can. You can’t be her friend.

Hilda’s sympathy evaporated fast. Well if she tries to get near my Cygnets I’ll busk her out of the water. And my Cedric will deal with that Nobby.

That’s my Hilda! said Mabel laughing.

Penny laid out a spread of drinks and nibbles and the girlfriends laughed and chatted about the forthcoming arrivals. Mrs Beaky told stories of how she didn’t sleep for weeks when her baby Seagulls arrived and how they screeched in her face all day asking for food. She said that Captain Beaky was a useless father and spent all his time in the Bar instead of catching them some fish. I had to bring the little horrors up all on my own! she said. The girls shook their heads in disapproval and reassured Hilda that Cedric would be a perfect parent. Yes, he will, agreed Hilda, he’s been reading a book about it, she said proudly. Then she added, I wish I’d read a book about it!

Don’t worry Hilda, said Doris, You’ll be a natural Mother. We didn’t have to read books about it in our day did we Horace?

No, we didn’t.

Just got on with it.

Yes, we did.

120 Squabs we’ve had.

At least.

Horace, said Doris, shouldn’t you be in the Bar with the boys?

Yes dear, he replied and flew off.

The girls all laughed. The party carried on long into the night until the Moon rose above the bank.

18th March 2024 – A Close Call.

Hilda pulled up a large clump of weed from the bed of the lagoon. She ate as much as she could then settled into her cosy nest and before long, an egg had appeared.

It’s here Cedric, Hilda said proudly, Our first egg!

Well done Hilda, Cedric said encouragingly.

Captain Beaky had an idea for his next money spinner. Competition Time! He called out. Guess how many eggs Hilda is going to lay! Place your entry fees in the Captain’s hat. There will be a prize for the best guess!

What’s the prize, Beaky? cheeped Basil, A trip on the Lagooner Schooner? To the bottom of the lagoon? Everyone laughed.

No, it’s a Beaky’s finest hamper, Captain Beaky announced.

Oooh I’d like to win that, said Molly Mallard innocently.

Don’t waste your money Molly, said Basil. It will be full of empty crisp packets! Everyone agreed and left Captain Beaky alone with his empty cap.

Hilda looked over to where Bianca was sitting on her nest. I wonder how many eggs she’s laid? Sneak over and have a peek when she stands up Molly.

Ok Hilda, but she won’t like me hanging around and she could give me a nasty nip! But I’ll try. Molly swam over to Bianca’s island and stood nonchalantly preening near the nest. Bianca gave her a suspicious glare. Morning Bianca, said Molly casually, How’s the laying going?

Bianca leaned forward, I know what you’re up to Ducky, you’re spying on my nest for that Hilda. Well you won’t be getting any information from me. Although you could mention that I’ve got 10 eggs already. She smiled in an unfriendly kind of way.

Oh wow! That’s a good clutch, Bianca. But I do believe Hilda has 11 ! retorted Molly not to be outdone. She settled down a safe distance from Bianca and pretended to snooze. She kept one eye slightly open so she was ready to find out the truth when Bianca stood up.

It wasn’t long before Bianca started to fidget. It was time to turn her eggs and she would have to stand up. She checked to see that Molly was asleep then stood up and started turning her eggs. Molly opened her eyes and started counting quickly, one, two … Bianca saw her and stretched forward to nip Molly’s tail.

Ouch! cried Molly and she fled into the water and swam across to Hilda.

Well? How many Molly? Hilda asked anxiously.

Only had time to count two, Hilda but then she attacked me.

Two. Did you hear that Cedric? exclaimed Hilda, I’ve only got one! She’s probably got another six hidden in there too. It’s so infuriating, she’s so young and full of eggs.

It doesn’t matter Hilda, You’ll lay some more too. It’s early. But even if we just have one Cygnet, it will be precious, Cedric said calming her.

But she’ll parade all hers round the lagoon and in front of my face. I have to lay some more eggs. She sat concentrating, trying to push more eggs out.

The long days passed as the Pens sat patiently on their nests. Rain poured down, the wind blew hard but still they sat protecting their precious eggs, keeping them warm at the perfect temperature. Cedric and Nobby stayed close to their nests. They knew they had to protect them from predators. But occasionally they would busk just to let each other know that the territorial dispute was not over.

That night Hilda woke up to hear rustling in the bushes. Cedric, I can hear something. Cedric was already awake, Yes, so can I. They both listened trying to see what was there. Then, two yellow eyes appeared from the darkness staring at them and they heard growling. It’s a Fox! cried Hilda.

Get in the water, Cedric shouted, I’ll protect the eggs. He rose up spreading his huge wings, hissing aggressively.

I can’t leave my eggs Cedric. Hilda said desperately.

Go! Now! Cedric replied sternly and she slipped into the water.

Cedric and the Fox came face to face, the Fox pounced and sent Cedric sprawling.

Cedric! Hilda screeched as she flew back towards him.

A strange shaft of light suddenly shot across the lagoon blinding the Fox, giving Cedric and Hilda time to escape back into the water. They swam out to the safety of middle of the lagoon and watched the Fox run along the bank and then disappear down a hole.

Phew! That was close Hilda. Cedric panted.

Are my eggs safe Cedric? said Hilda rushing to her nest. She noticed that Cedric was bleeding. Are you hurt?

It’s nothing, he said, just a nick. It will heal in no time. What I want to know is what that strange ball of light was? It saved us Hilda.

They both looked up into the night sky and the ball of light floated gently down.

Oh, cried Hilda, it’s the Fireflies! Remember Cedric, how they lit our fire on our honeymoon in the haunted house?

Hello you two, Fia Firefly, buzzed. We were just visiting to welcome the new arrivals and just in time it seems!

Thank you Fia and all the Fireflies. You’ve saved us again! Cedric said gratefully.

And you’ve saved our Cygnets. Hilda added, you must stay to see them, it won’t be long now.

We will, buzzed Fia, and we can’t wait to cygnet-sit if you and Cedric want a romantic night out on your own.

That’s so kind and thoughtful Fia. Well, it’s been an eventful night, I’m exhausted. Let’s all get some sleep. Good night, Hilda said and she nuzzled her head into her soft wings. The Fireflies flew off to the trees. Cedric closed one eye, he knew he must stay on guard.

21st March 2024 – Spring

The banks of the lagoon were bursting into life. First Snowdrops, then Primroses, then Bluebells. Dry branches were budding with new green life. Sun rays warmed the air. It was Spring.

A sense of anticipation and excitement grew amongst the Wildlife of new beginnings; new life.

Hilda heard a tiny tapping, audible only to her. Her first Cygnet was making its way into the world using its tiny egg tooth to break a hole in the shell of its egg.

Cedric was asleep beside her. She woke him with a gentle nudge. It’s time Cedric.

They watched the shell of the large greenish, blue egg, slowly cracking open then Pop! a tiny grey head appeared out of the hole. The Cygnet looked around and they heard its first high pitched cheep. Hilda looked at Cedric, It’s our first Cygnet, Cedric and it’s beautiful, she said, her voice full of emotion.

It’s a fine Cygnet, Hilda, Cedric said proudly.

Hilda bent her head down. Hello little one, she said softly.

The Cygnet cheeped more loudly and wriggled his wet body out of the rest of the shell. Hilda pushed him instinctively under her wing to keep him warm and so he could dry out.

Another egg started to crack open, then another, and another and soon seven more little grey balls of wet fluff had popped out of their eggs and into the outside world. Hilda tucked them all safely, under her warm wing.

One egg was left. Hilda listened intently. I can’t hear any sounds Cedric.

Maybe it’s just asleep Hilda, he said though he knew that it may not hatch. Let’s wait a bit longer.

Yes, Hilda agreed, it may just be late. I’ll keep it warm.

The newly hatched Cygnets popped in and out from under Hilda’s wing all day. Sometimes they tried to climb on her back but slipped off. Hilda and Cedric laughed at the antics. They’re a lively bunch Hilda, remarked Cedric.

Yes they are Cedric and soon they’ll need feeding. The yolk won’t last long. She knew she had to get them on to the water to start feeding on the weed that she and Cedric would pull up for them.

She also knew that the first journey on to the lagoon was the most dangerous. Was the Great Black Backed Gull watching already? She looked anxiously around. No sign of him yet. She turned her last unhatched egg, I can’t leave this egg Cedric. It might hatch. But we need to get these Cygnets on to the water to feed.

Cover it Hilda, we’ll be back soon. I’m sure it will be safe, suggested Cedric.

Well, alright. Hilda pulled up some leaves and grass and covered her egg. Then she turned to her Cygnets. Line up, little ones, we’re going for our first swim! she said.

The Cygnets cheeped with excitement and gathered behind Hilda. She made her way down the bank and into the water with the Cygnets running to keep up behind her. Cedric followed to guard them and the family started to swim along the edge of the lagoon. Hilda and Cedric pulled up weed and broke it up so the Cygnets could feed and they eagerly devoured the tasty green pieces.

A loud, shrill cheeping cut through the peaceful air, Hilda looked up and saw a lone, lost Cygnet floating on the water near the nest.

Cedric, look! The egg has hatched. There’s the Cygnet but he can’t find us!

They both spotted the Great Black Back Gull swooping towards it at the same time. Hilda screeched, No! Cedric! Quickly, save it before he catches it!

Cedric flew as the Gull grabbed the Cygnet in his claws and lifted it out of the water. Cedric flew up and made a desperate attempt to reach his Cygnet. He grasped the tail of the Gull causing it to drop the Cygnet and it plummeted towards the water. Hilda was ready below waiting anxiously with her other Cygnets. It plopped on to her back into the soft safety of her feathers.

Well caught Hilda!, called Cedric as he flew back to her.

Well done you, Hilda said with a huge sigh of relief. That was another close call, Cedric. My nerves are shattered! Hilda looked behind at the nine fluffy cygnets following her. But look at them, we still have them all and they’re the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen! Let’s take them home before anything else happens. That’s quite enough excitement for one day.

As they started swimming back to their nest, they spotted Nobby and Bianca by the island. Behind Bianca, a row of ten, fluffy grey Cygnets followed her.

Look Cedric, Bianca’s got ten! Hilda said feeling annoyed. But look how scruffy they are compared to ours.

To be fair, Hilda, they look the same as ours! Cedric said then realising his mistake, added, but ours are err …. much err ….. fluffier.

Yes they are. Hilda said decisively. She continued swimming along with her head held high and her bill pointing haughtily, upwards.